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Two Things I Swear To You That I Will Never (Unlike Unnamed Coworkers) Do:

(1) pull my own teeth
(2) drink Windex to get drunk

One Thing I Did Do This Weekend:

(1) wore two different shoes to work by accident

Date: 2007-10-30 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soliloquia.livejournal.com
Er, I hope the essay didn't scare you off!


Was the pulling of teeth connected with the drinking of Windex?

Date: 2007-10-31 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
Oh, my dear, I am so sorry -- not only for forgetting about the essay, which sucks of me, but also for not groveling to you much sooner. I'm so sorry. So sorry. :(

No, the two events are connected only in the similar levels that they FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT. (that is to say, very high levels.)

Date: 2007-10-30 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurelwood.livejournal.com
There are some serious stories behind those two things that you will never do. Drinking WINDEX? I didn't even know it had alcohol in it!

As for wearing different shoes, well, that's just kind of cute. Were they radically different, or was it just a case of one of this year's black loafers, and one of last year's? :)

I've worn thong underwear sideways numerous times. It's one of those garments that's so uncomfortable even when worn correctly that I didn't notice for hours that one of my hips had a cotton panel on it and the other didn't.

Date: 2007-10-31 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
Well, we're getting dental insurance, and as people have turned in their forms, more than one of our field guys -- let me repeat that, MORE THAN ONE -- have said in all seriousness that they'll be glad not to have to pull their own teeth any more. My response to this is generally to scream and run.

As for the Windex, I don't even remember how the topic came up! T. just started talking about drinking Windex in high school. I do remember my response: "T, that's poison. I mean, when kids drink it, they die." He told me that if you filter the blue out, you can drink it; but in my trauma I've blocked out the filtering method. Anyway, I don't know how true this can possibly be, because I always thought it was ammonia-based.

My shoes were pretty much this year's and last year's brown mary janes, yeah. With long pants on, they looked enough alike that you couldn't really tell unless you knew what you were looking for.

Hahahahaha! I don't wear thongs, but I've worn my underwear sideways as well!

Date: 2007-10-30 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imkalena.livejournal.com
No, really? Jesus, I'd think the ammonia would kill you before you caught a buzz!

I'd be more likely to pull my own teeth than drink Windex.

Date: 2007-10-31 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
I told Laurel that I don't know how true my coworker's story is -- I hope for his sake NOT AT ALL.

It's a tossup for me as to which I'd prefer, but I guess that if I were forced, I'd rather pull teeth too. Your chances are better for surviving a tooth-pulling, and dude, I am all about the survival.

Date: 2007-10-30 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinderblast.livejournal.com
I'm traumatised by both examples ...

Date: 2007-10-31 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
Me too. If I had a therapist, I'd be talking to my therapist about it, but instead I am talking to you. Don't you feel lucky?

Date: 2007-10-30 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lindyhoppr.livejournal.com
I pulled out a couple of my own teeth when I was in second grade. But they were baby teeth, and new ones grew in.

Date: 2007-10-31 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
I didn't even do that! My dad used to get mad at me because I'd leave my teeth in until they were attached only at a single tiny point -- they'd just sort of dangle there.

ahahahahaha

Date: 2007-10-30 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] octoberstory.livejournal.com
THAT IS SO YOU ♥

Re: ahahahahaha

Date: 2007-10-31 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tofty.livejournal.com
It so is. :/

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