Wasn't Dumbledore bad enough, damn it?

[constance]

I was puttering around in the living room and heard a clatter from the study and saw a running cat and went to investigate, and discovered that my Snape action figure had totally AKed my Jane Austen action figure.



After all, there can't possibly be another explanation.

Comments

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

My God, he is evil!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

And to think I stuck up for the bastard.

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

ooooh, very nice "staff" he has there.

I bet Jane made inappropriate advances. Serves her right.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we all know Jane likes the difficult ones!

The Staff is an old hatpin. I kind of like to imagine Snape carrying around a gigantic hat pin just in case he gets the chance to skewer someone. In fact, I'd suspect he skewered Jane, but there was no blood.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Professor Snape, in the study, with the hatpin!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

:D

Oh, wouldn't it be fun to play an HP version of Clue?? "Lucius Malfoy, in the Room of Requirement, with an Imperiused House Elf!"

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Damn. Now I'm totally going to have to put something like that together. I once made a "This is your life, Steve A." board game for my cousin, which he still has on the wall, so this wouldn't be too hard.

Let's see... instead of rooms in a house, there'd be zones, I guess. Grimmauld Place, Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, Hogwarts, etc., and you could either move through them the hard way, or apparate/floo from different special spots. And there could be potential pitfalls along the way! With a tiny Knight Bus card to rescue you, if you're lucky enough to pull one! Whew. I just know I'm going to burn dinner, now, because I'll be daydreaming about what the little "curse" tokens might look like.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh! I have been daydreaming too, about a strictly-Hogwarts version, but I like your idea better! You should definitely do this, definitely; and when you do, I will have to think of something really spectacular to do for you in return.

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

I'm absolutely convinced that Jane told Snape to kill her! In fact, I was receiving mind rays beamed directly into my brain about this just the other day!

*is dragged back into the padded room*

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

You'll write this story, won't you?

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure I'll get to it eventually. :)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahaha, Laurel's right, you should definitely write it! Because the world needs more Snape/Austen crackfic! Extra points for meta, if you can slip in the mind rays and the padded room!

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a not-quite-so-very-Reformed Death Eater in possession of a wand must be in want of a...duelling partner.

......

[leestone.livejournal.com]

Okay. I don't mean to alarm you, but my Snape is currently standing right next to the Charles Dickens action figure on my desk.

His stance is suspiciously casual.

He is brandishing a vial.

Serial Novelist, meet Serial Killer.

Re: ......

[tofty.livejournal.com]

He really gets around, doesn't he. This is not good for the future of writers of happy endings. Not good at all.

la de da de dum.

[leestone.livejournal.com]

Now I'm thinking about Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. And how, if Snape (in a fit of boredom) compiled a list entitled My All-Time Least Favorite Muggle Novelists, they would probably both rank somewhere in the Top 20. You know, along with Francine Pascal and Richard Bach.

I'm guessing our Joseph Conrad action figures would escape unmolested.

Re: la de da de dum.

[quartertosix.livejournal.com]

*is laughing so hard that her lungs are trying to explode out of her mouth, OK?*

Funniest thing I've read all day. <3333

Re: la de da de dum.

[leestone.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Yes, and thank goodness Albert Camus and James Ellroy would make it as well.

Though I think Snape should give Francine Pascal a chance. Talk about your Hearts of Darkness!

Re: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[leestone.livejournal.com]

Re: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I do love you so. :D:D:D:D:D:D

Re: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[leestone.livejournal.com]

I heard he's wanted to hex Diana Gabaldon in the worst way, too, but it just isn't worth the flak he'd take from McGonagall.

Re: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Pee Ess I like to think that he's scratching those names out in blood.

Re: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA

[leestone.livejournal.com]

He so is.