All of the virtue, none of the fun

[constance]

So here's what I've done with my weekend:

• Given blood


• Gone on to work at the bookstore afterwards, until midnight, which was a big mistake; allow me to inform you that they are not kidding when they say not to exert yourself after giving blood or you will regret it; I spent most of the night dizzy, in a cold sweat, fighting the urge to lie in a corner in a fetal position and moan helplessly


• Slept for a really long time


• Woke up to a frantic call from a friend to say that a family friend had died and would I sit for their daughter while they went to the funeral and wake this afternoon


• Curtailed my plans for a leisurely lunch with a book to picking up takeout and eating it on the way to my friend's


• Noted the enormous spider and huge and intricate web on my porch as I was leaving, with a promise to myself that I would take a picture of it when I got home, which of course it was not there when I got home


• Drew pictures, played make-believe, intermittently watched not enough bad children's television to know what was going on, and generally got ordered around by a sweet little three-year-old tartar-in-training, when all I really wanted to do was read the new book of short stories in my tote bag or watch some comfort movie of mine

Am currently feeling insufficiently rewarded for my saintly nature, and would probably feel much worse if the Battlestar Galactica season premiere (eta: and the huge, low-hanging harvest moon) hadn't been this weekend.

:::

Also, I have a question. Say you went to an Indian restaurant on a regular basis mostly to pick up takeout, and every time the waiter/cashier rang you up, he chatted with you, talked about nose rings or bollywood films or asked you why you never ate in the restaurant any more (you haven't because you've spent the past few months in financial straits), or asked you what you did for a living and whether you have a holiday weekend coming. And assume that you know perfectly well that you are the sort of person who has to actually be asked out on a date to understand that someone is trying to flirt with her or pick her up. And assume that as you were picking up your restaurant food this latest time it suddenly dawned on you that it might, just might, mind you, be that this man was trying to flirt with you, and that because it only just occurred to you and you are the densest person on the planet, he maybe has been trying to flirt for some time, and you just assumed he was being friendly. Would you think he really had been trying to flirt, or would you go on thinking he was just a very nice guy?

This question is purely hypothetical, of course.

Comments

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

Could be either way. My bet would be on flirting though. Do you like him? : )

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like him quite a lot -- he's friendly with just enough polite reserve, which suits me very well. I tend not to think very often in terms of liking in the way that I think you mean, though; I'm a sort of celibate at heart, I think.

I like him enough, however, to maybe even consider a date, which believe me hasn't happened in quite a long time. Which is why I've been wondering about the possibility of flirtation, of course.

Was that answer wishy-washy enough for you? Because believe me, I could go on all night like this. :D

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

oh, I meant the first kind of like - which really is the basis of these things imo.

I think you should be eating more Indian takeout. I think that would be a very good thing. And talking about your open weekends and not being sure what to fill them with. Maybe a movie or something.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha! Not so good at that sort of thing -- but maybe I'll give it a try. Thanks for the advice, I mean it! :)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I mean, if this were me we were talking about, which of course we are not because this is a purely hypothetical question. lalalala...

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Personally? I would go on thinking he was just a very nice guy, but that's mainly because my self-esteem doesn't exist and I wouldn't be able to believe anyone was actually flirting with me. YMMV. :-)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Aha! My mileage doesn't vary at all. That is exactly my MO, which is why the question. I don't trust my instincts in the least when it comes to stuff like this, because, I mean, why on earth would he be flirting with me? :/

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

So if you ate in the restaurant, would this guy be your waiter? Or does he only deal with takeout?

Because if, theoretically, he were flirting with < insert name here >, then that person could go to the restaurant and eat in during some sort of off hour, like three pm on a Saturday, giving said restaurant employee a chance to have a longer chat with said friendly but reserved person, perhaps leading to an extra-restaurantal type of invitation. That is, if the person in question wished to encourange an extra-restaurantal interaction.

I haven't done this sort of thing in ages, but years ago I had a very satisfactory fling with the deli clerk at my local market. I had to take the first real step, though. In fact, here is a thought: does one call the restaurant in advance to order the takeout food? And does the restaurant ask for one's phone number? Because then maybe one could encourage a restaurant-related call, such as "Call me when it's ready" or "Let me know when you are making that special okra chupatti again."

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I think he usually does both, waiting and cashiering -- it's a small restaurant, and, here in a region where any spices other than salt, pepper, and the occasional sparingly-used onion tend to be looked upon with suspicion, not busy enough to justify a huge staff.

That's an excellent idea, to eat in and watch. I'd been thinking, too, that one could maybe watch him interact with other customers and see whether he treated oneself differently from them. *dusts off spy notebook*

They don't ask for phone numbers there, usually, but if they do, I'll try and think of a reason they might have to call me. I mean, one. *confuses self thoroughly*

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't think twice about it. I do have fond memories of flirting, but it hasn't happened in a long time!

However, were I hypothetical, I would definitely let him know when I have a holiday weekend coming. :)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I am a terrible flirt -- and I do mean that I'm awful at it. Apart from not actually recognizing when it's happening, there are other factors at work there. So really, you know, I guess it's a good thing I can't decide whether or not flirtation is actually occurring -- it'll be easier to assume we're being friendly so I don't have to clench up tight.

*thinks -- in a purely hypothetical and friendly way -- about next holiday weekend*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Maybe he's just a flirty guy. But I guess all depends on if you want to actually, you know, go out?

And good for you for giving blood. Boo on your subsequent ickness.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I've been a regular donor for years -- apart from the two years I wasn't allowed to donate -- but this is the first time I've ever felt badly after a donation. Probably it's also the first time after donating I've gone on to scuttle around carrying heavy things for eight hours, too. Possibly some sort of correlation there.

I don't know if I would want to go out or not -- I am all-around sucky at the romantic thing -- so I suppose I'll just wait and see what happens next! :D

[aliciamasters.livejournal.com]

This is the world's hardest question for a shy person, isn't it? As someone who is gregarious, but married to the shyest man on the planet, I can say this: just keep talking. If this hypothetical situation WERE real, for example, I'd say that any discussion about what you're doing in RL is encouragement. Long weekends, movies you want to see, books you've just read, and television you watch are all good ways to stay comfortable and still invite more discussion.


I will also say this: as someone who worked in the restaurant business, I always wondered about life outside of the restaurant. If you changed your buying habits, from eating in the restaurant to getting carry-out, he might wonder if you met someone & are sharing the food. ;) Hypothetically, of course. You can easily dispel that with a comment like, "I want to see this movie, but I don't have anyone to go with," or even, "It takes me two days to eat this much food. It's too much for one person!"

Holy HTML, Robin! Let's try this again.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, it is true about the food -- between the chicken and the naan, I can easily make two meals out of it. Three if I'm craving vegetable samosa!

It's in situations like this when I envy my unselfconscious, sometimes downright bold friends, who think nothing, when they have questions like this, of just asking them! All I can do is wonder and dither. And, as you say, keep talking and hope someday things become a little clearer. :)

And I always wonder about life on the inside of a restaurant. The glimpses I've had have been fascinating!

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

You are a saint. And ooh, potential pash. Lovely. I'd keep talking to him. Maybe ask a few questions back. That's not committing yourself, if he's just being friendly. But if he's flirting you'll probably be able to tell from the way he reacts to some reciprocal interest. *If he asks you on a date say yes!!*

*snickers at your icon*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the reassurances in re: my overlooked saintliness. :)

I don't know if I'm up for displays of reciprocal interest! I'm not even sure what's involved, I'm sorry to say. Maybe if I just remember to be friendly, do you think that'll work?

If he asks, I will say yes. For your sake, and for mine, and just to prove I can!