Area Woman Reports Burglary

[constance]

Area woman tofty discovered upon waking that she was the victim of Mysterious Ruffians, who broke into her home during the night and rifled a paper diorama set up on the dining room table, stealing a "pillow" and scattering books, candles, and an unclothed, hairless clay figurine over the floor in decidedly profligate fashion.

A distraught Ms. tofty said, "It was such a nice pillow, too -- all stuffed with cotton-balls, and just the right size."

Police were called in, but could find evidence of neither a break-in to the house nor of the Mysterious Ruffians. Early reports suggest that the pillow, considering its low resale value, has been stripped for parts and will never be recovered. And it is unlikely, even given Ms. tofty's reported list of suspects and a generous posted reward of Whiskas cat treats (crunchy on the outside! soft on the inside!), that the Mysterious Ruffians will ever be arrested and brought to justice.

Comments

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

a generous posted reward of Whiskas cat treats

What a pity Mysterious Ruffians are so often not great readers.*G*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

No, it's true! I would love to leave notes out for my Ruffians, but as things stand, they'd only end up chewing on any note I left out for them. Or carrying it carefully off somewhere never to be seen again.