Area Woman Reports Burglary
Sep. 30th, 2006 09:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
constanceArea woman ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tofty discovered upon waking that she was the victim of Mysterious Ruffians, who broke into her home during the night and rifled a paper diorama set up on the dining room table, stealing a "pillow" and scattering books, candles, and an unclothed, hairless clay figurine over the floor in decidedly profligate fashion.
A distraught Ms.tofty said, "It was such a nice pillow, too -- all stuffed with cotton-balls, and just the right size."
Police were called in, but could find evidence of neither a break-in to the house nor of the Mysterious Ruffians. Early reports suggest that the pillow, considering its low resale value, has been stripped for parts and will never be recovered. And it is unlikely, even given Ms.tofty's reported list of suspects and a generous posted reward of Whiskas cat treats (crunchy on the outside! soft on the inside!), that the Mysterious Ruffians will ever be arrested and brought to justice.
tofty discovered upon waking that she was the victim of Mysterious Ruffians, who broke into her home during the night and rifled a paper diorama set up on the dining room table, stealing a "pillow" and scattering books, candles, and an unclothed, hairless clay figurine over the floor in decidedly profligate fashion. A distraught Ms.
tofty said, "It was such a nice pillow, too -- all stuffed with cotton-balls, and just the right size." Police were called in, but could find evidence of neither a break-in to the house nor of the Mysterious Ruffians. Early reports suggest that the pillow, considering its low resale value, has been stripped for parts and will never be recovered. And it is unlikely, even given Ms.
tofty's reported list of suspects and a generous posted reward of Whiskas cat treats (crunchy on the outside! soft on the inside!), that the Mysterious Ruffians will ever be arrested and brought to justice.
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Date: 2006-09-30 02:57 pm (UTC)By the way, I dreamed this morning that you came to San Jose to scrutinize the Winchester Mystery House (http://www.winchestermysteryhouse.com/) because you were going to make a scale model of it. When one of the staff there asked if that wasn't a bit too ambitious of a project, you waved your hand and pronounced airily, "Nonsense. I grew up in a house just like this." :D (Gosh, can you imagine the sheer volume of foam core you'd need?) But there was a large, aristocratic English family (complete with little spoiled boys in Norfolk suits) occupying the house, and they kept getting in the way, so we gave up and went out for burgers and malts instead.
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Date: 2006-09-30 03:38 pm (UTC)Ahhh, what a great dream! I would totally have tackled that project too, if it hadn't been for that pesky family. Although I will say that I think the world needs more boys in Norfolk suits, and possibly knee socks and straw boaters as well. I know that this attire would get any boy in America beat up the second he stepped out into public, but I wish that weren't the case.
Anyway, the house is fab, and we should definitely visit when I am next in San Jose!
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Date: 2006-10-01 10:49 pm (UTC)Do you think the English boys in Norfolk suits were ghosts? Did they have plus-fours?
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Date: 2006-09-30 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-30 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-30 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 05:08 am (UTC)What a pity Mysterious Ruffians are so often not great readers.*G*
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Date: 2006-10-02 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-01 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-02 10:42 pm (UTC):D:D:D