constance | May I call you sheepkill?

A googlism:

laurel is cool
laurel is energetic
laurel is important
laurel is a friendly and caring community
laurel is poisonous to livestock; hence the common name sheepkill
laurel is not to purchase cemetery plots here
laurel is listening to thumping techno pop music on her headphones
laurel is a strong endorsement of our products
laurel is not responsible for personal items either lost or stolen
laurel is soaked in this mixture while the witch chants over the mixture for 7 hours
laurel is more of a counselor than a fortuneteller
laurel is dressed in the thin nightgown given to her by her captors
laurel is accosted by the pier one and cost plus fairies
laurel is an excellent idea

and incidentally,

laurel is having a birthday today!

I hope it's a splendid one, my dear. If we lived next door to each other, I'd be pounding on your door right now bearing ludicrously-decorated (and, if we were specially lucky, edible) theme cakes.