And now I have a question for you.

[constance]

One of the nicest things about being a grownup is that you can have a slice of pumpkin cheesecake for dinner and there's no one to say you nay. I'm just saying.

:::

I went to lunch today with my mother, and we talked briefly about my awful aunt, who, among her many stellar characteristics, possesses the ability to pronounce the word interesting in such a way as to turn it into a synonym of appalling. She thinks our family is interesting. She thinks that any gift which does not correspond to her fluid and entirely subjective ideas of what gifts ought to be is interesting.

Or really, what we talked about was not my aunt so much as the fact that it's an unrewarding struggle, trying to find a gift for someone who will open it, peer into the box with an expression most people reserve for gifts of dog manure, and say, "Oh, how interesting!" in That Tone of Voice.

And yet we persist. Both of us like picking out things for people that we think they'll like -- though goodness knows we don't always succeed -- and neither of us wants to be the sort of person who keeps a kind of mental tally running (giving gifts as payment for kind thank-yous or interest, either real or well-feigned), and neither of us is assertive enough to just say Enough. And so we beat on, picking out gifts, or making them, with care, knowing all the while that they'll be dismissed.

I'm curious, because I'm sure that at least a few people around here have people similar to my aunt on their lists: how do you respond to such a person? By not buying gifts any more? By trying harder? By sneering a heartfelt fuck-you?

Comments

[thalia]

If it were me, I'd probably keep buying her presents, but I wouldn't put much effort into them, and I wouldn't spend any more than I had to. And I'd try not to take it personally when she turned up her nose, because some people just can't be pleased. Her loss, really.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

She's not my aunt, so it's easy to throw out this suggestion, but my first instinct was to think, "Oh, you want interesting? I'll give you interesting!" and then go out and find something as off-the-wall as I possibly could. (There are some lovely sequined lime green bedroom slippers at the dollar store right now. Want me to mail you a pair?)

Barring that, though, if I couldn't get out of giving her something altogether, I think I'd err on the side of, I dunno... "gourmet"-ish food items, maybe? And like darthalia said, not put too much effort into it.

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

Charitable donation in her honor? If you're feeling bold, though, I like Laurel's idea. ;)

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

It sounds difficult and hurtful.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Buy them something subtly insulting and obnoxious on purpose.

Oops, did I say that out loud?

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

One of the best twists I've ever heard on the suggestions by both bowdlerized and somniesperus came from a friend who was interning in a fancy law firm. He was expected to attend a baby shower for a very highly-paid member of the firm, and he was irked at the idea that people were spending a hundred dollars and more on gifts for this over-priveleged baby. His solution was impeccable: a donation to Save the Children.

In my family we don't spend a lot on gifts, but we like to pick out things that are unique and specific. Especially between my sister and me, a fifty-year-old flea market book can be much more highly prized than an expensive but boring sweater.

The problem is my brother. If you are going to see him in person, he will probably rustle around and come up with something, usually cookware or gadgets. But I don't think he has ever actually been inside a post office, so he'll get me things but wait until someone happens to be traveling from California to New York and then ask them to carry it along. He is good about calling on my birthday, but I never expect to receive anything from him. And yet.... my amour propre prevents me from merely snubbing him at the holidays. This year I picked up a DVD of Rock 'n' Roll High School at the Tower Records going out of business sale for less than ten dollars. It shows I care....

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Is it creepy and wrong to just squeal "I love you!!!1!" after opening up a Christmas card that pushes the boundaries of darlingness further than they've ever been pushed before?

OMG, the little snowy Hedwig! The happy look on Snowman!Harry's face! The way the striped Gryffindor scarf should clash with the spotted patterned paper, but instead works seamlessly in the way that interior decorators always manage to do with decorative couch cushions, but I could never manage myself. PLUS the printing inside, which I, despite knowing that it was a hand-crafted card, had to squint hard at to believe that it wasn't pre-printed because it was so perfect. And every family member's names and ages... I couldn't be more thrilled. Thank you so much!