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constance1. At dinner I was talking about a story I heard on NPR yesterday: "Did you know," I said to the table at large, "that maple trees will explode if they're left untapped?" Everyone was fascinated, and I started to relate the report in detail, the exploding trees, the history of deaths, how some historians posit that the puritans' discovery of the sweetness of maple syrup was one of the things that contributed to the wane of the hold puritanism had on the early settlers, but before I even got that far we got suspicious; and the more I thought about it--the man building a maple coffin for a son who'd been decapitated, the children's song with the lyrics about trees blowing sky-high--the more I was convinced I'd been had, and sure enough, as soon as I got back home, I checked their website and found this. -_- Oh, well. I freely admit that I am gullible. But so was everybody else at that table!
2. At the bookstore, I was working at a register and a man asked me to double-bag his books. "Sure," I said, and because I wanted to know how he wanted me to double-bag them, I asked, "were you wanting them double-bagged for strength or against the weather?" (Because it is NEVER GOING TO STOP RAINING EVER AGAIN.) He glared at me for fully five seconds, which if you don't think this is a long time to stare silently at someone, you are quite mistaken, and then said, with a slightly hostile inflection, "I. Want. You. To. Double. Bag. Them." So I did, and I hope the handles broke on him, but in the telling, it's a little more funny than upsetting.
3. Also at the store, a fit-looking older couple came up bearing five copies of a single magazine. I asked them if they were in it, and they said that they weren't, but their daughter was, and did I want to see? I mean, you can't say no, right? So I dutifully peered at what I thought was a typical fashion layout, an extremely attractive pair draped decoratively over each other, and was suitably impressed by their daughter's beauty, and then I realized who the guy was and what I was looking at. "Wait," I said, "Your daughter's marrying Ron Livingston?" And indeed she was. "Lucky girl," I said, and then, after a slight pause, continued, "but I bet he's lucky too!" They agreed that he was lucky, albeit in tones that suggested I paused a little too long before saying this.
:::
I am moving tomorrow, and as usual, I am going to be spending the final twelve hours packing frantically; I'll be up all night. I have my 20-ounce coffee at my elbow, and the DVDs will be the last box I tape up, but I am begging you: entertain me! Tell me a good story you've heard recently, and I will, like Emma Woodhouse, laugh merrily at each one as it comes, and thereby will I stay awake tonight.
2. At the bookstore, I was working at a register and a man asked me to double-bag his books. "Sure," I said, and because I wanted to know how he wanted me to double-bag them, I asked, "were you wanting them double-bagged for strength or against the weather?" (Because it is NEVER GOING TO STOP RAINING EVER AGAIN.) He glared at me for fully five seconds, which if you don't think this is a long time to stare silently at someone, you are quite mistaken, and then said, with a slightly hostile inflection, "I. Want. You. To. Double. Bag. Them." So I did, and I hope the handles broke on him, but in the telling, it's a little more funny than upsetting.
3. Also at the store, a fit-looking older couple came up bearing five copies of a single magazine. I asked them if they were in it, and they said that they weren't, but their daughter was, and did I want to see? I mean, you can't say no, right? So I dutifully peered at what I thought was a typical fashion layout, an extremely attractive pair draped decoratively over each other, and was suitably impressed by their daughter's beauty, and then I realized who the guy was and what I was looking at. "Wait," I said, "Your daughter's marrying Ron Livingston?" And indeed she was. "Lucky girl," I said, and then, after a slight pause, continued, "but I bet he's lucky too!" They agreed that he was lucky, albeit in tones that suggested I paused a little too long before saying this.
:::
I am moving tomorrow, and as usual, I am going to be spending the final twelve hours packing frantically; I'll be up all night. I have my 20-ounce coffee at my elbow, and the DVDs will be the last box I tape up, but I am begging you: entertain me! Tell me a good story you've heard recently, and I will, like Emma Woodhouse, laugh merrily at each one as it comes, and thereby will I stay awake tonight.
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Date: 2005-04-03 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 03:09 am (UTC)If you see any one of these, I would recommend Office Space. It is just...<3!
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Date: 2005-04-03 04:02 am (UTC)"I wouldn't say I'm missing it, Bob."
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Date: 2005-04-03 05:25 am (UTC)"I stole something from the office...no, something else."
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Date: 2005-04-04 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 02:33 am (UTC)I'm trying to think of a good story... I got nothing.
You're moving? I had no idea. Have I been so wrapped up in my shallow little existance that I haven't been paying attention?
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Date: 2005-04-03 03:12 am (UTC)And I wrote about the move in my blog, but not until last night! Because I was so wrapped up in the process of moving that I forgot to mention that I was doing it, and it wasn't until someone else asked the same question that I realized I'd forgotten.
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Date: 2005-04-03 03:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 05:24 am (UTC)I hope you have had/will have had an excellent night at work :x :x :x
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Date: 2005-04-03 06:17 am (UTC)I had my own Moving Experience today as you know, and dammit am I ever sore. Stairs climbed today: definitely over 1000.
My story for you is about the fact that I ordered a full-size bed, and a queen-size was delivered today. I didn't realize it till after the delivery people had left. Then I checked my paperwork from when I bought the thing, and it said "queen" on it. :-?
Upon review it does not seem too big for the room, so I guess I'll keep it, but I can pretty much guarantee you that I bought the full-size model. I mean, wtf, I've slept on a twin bed all my life. Conjectures as to how this possibly occurred would be welcomed.
Also, I left my pillow in the old apartment, so I will have to rough it on my new queen-sized bed with no head elevation. *limps off to sleep*
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Date: 2005-04-03 07:04 am (UTC)And oh, man, as stressful and grueling as I find moving, at least I've never had to do it climbing up and down a five-floor building. :/ :/ I hope you survive the night in your queen-sized bed! (And maybe that was why the bed was so expensive? At least partly, I mean.) Queen-size beds are really nice, though. My bed is full-size, and queen-size don't look all that much bigger, but they feel a lot roomier, and so I hope that even without your pillow, you sleep well.
<3 :D <3 :D <3 :D !
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Date: 2005-04-03 03:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-05 03:46 am (UTC)Sadly, it does make me feel better to know that I am not alone.
Gosh, it's good to see you! Whenever you have time to drop by, I am always so happy.
PS
Date: 2005-04-03 03:55 pm (UTC)Re: PS
Date: 2005-04-05 03:46 am (UTC)*sobs uncontrollably at sight of boxes everywhere*
Re: PS
Date: 2005-04-05 05:51 pm (UTC)I'm getting on well with JS&MN btw. Chapter 18. But I caved and hiked it all across London today - I had an appointment and I couldn't *bear* not to read it on the way. I'm already very fond of Drawlight and Mr Lascelles. But I'm worried over what the Raven King's prophecy implied about their future.
It always cheers me up to see your posts, even when I can't think of anything relevant to say in reply.
Re: PS
Date: 2005-04-06 12:30 am (UTC)It's funny, but I was enamored of so many of the characters, Drawlight and Laschelles (about whose fate I will in no way hint), and The Man with Thistle-Down Hair, and Childermass and especially Stephen and Arabella; really, I was less interested in JS and MN than in most of them. Not to say that JS and MN weren't interesting, but I guess the thing is that there isn't a single major character in the whole book I wouldn't love to see in his or her own separate novel.
I would really love to read--and write--fanfiction for it, btw. I looked for it for a time, and never really found anything, but it's been a while, so maybe once I get settled, I'll go looking again.
:::
And speaking of getting settled: I love unpacking books best as well, but I'm going to have to wait till last to unpack them this time, because when I moved from NO, I got rid of all my bookcases, most of which were just falling apart. So I have to get new.
But! A new system! You interest me strangely; I'll have to think about a new system of my own!