*cues violins and updates resume*
Jun. 12th, 2006 09:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
constanceI thought when I joined the company I'm working for right now that I would be here for a good while. I was tired of two-year job-hopping and wanted a place to settle, and this company and I found each other and I thought, hey, maybe this is it, you know? I can see working here for fifteen years. I can see myself rising through the company, I can feel that these are good guys, and if they don't pay much (and believe me, they don't, by IT standards), there are things that are more important things to me than money. I.e., almost everything about a workplace.
And for a while, it was just lovely. Everyone was considerate and helpful and the managers carefully nurtured their departments and the atmosphere was laid-back and friendly, and I wasn't the only one who felt that this was a place to be long-term, and we had an exciting new application coming out any day, and things were looking mighty fine, we thought.
My God, were we wrong. Couldn't have been wronger. The release date for the new app has been pushed back and pushed back and it's a year past the original due date and there's no release in sight, and everyone is upset and worried and the management is clamping down on us hard, as though forced labor and locked-up supplies and threats to view our cellphone bills if they think we're making too many personal calls are going to solve their problems. The fact is that we are hemorrhaging money, and none of us peons had more than an inkling of just how much trouble we were in until Friday, when the layoffs started without warning. Just two and a half so far, but how can we not think that there are more to come? There are already rumors floating around that the company will have to be cut back to skeleton staff by year's end, and almost everyone is angry and miserable, and thinking that even if we might once have felt like staying to the bitter end--and most of us, I think, would have, before last week--after Friday, we don't any more. What kind of company lays off employees by phone, for fuck's sake? Not the kind I want to work for, anyway.
So. Instead of settling comfortably into my life, I am unexpectedly being forced to decide what I want to do next. I'll update my resume, sure. I'll look for more tech jobs here in town, though goodness knows those aren't so thick on the ground in Macon, GA. But I mentioned before, not entirely coincidentally, that I'm not sure I want to stay in the tech industry, and I was talking to a coworker today, who handed in her notice (just last week before the shitstorm really started) to pursue her dream of opening a ballet supply shop, talking about how we just want to go to work and be happy, and I talked about used bookstores and boutique movie houses and boarding kennels, and she said well, why not? You know, I'm not a risk-taker either, but sometimes things happen to make the risks easier, and maybe you should look into now easy it might be to take a risk right now. Don't be uninformed or impulsive, because you're not going to be comfortable acting impulsively and without background knowledge. But start the research and see where it takes you.
What fabulous advice, right? Well, I am taking it. Starting tonight, I will update my resume, but I will also find copies of Starting a Business for Dummies. I will decide what I really and truly want to do with my life (right now, the most concrete notion I have is that I'd like to take the dogs to work with me, if at all possible), I will make a plan, I will talk to a bank. Those things don't cost much, and if this turns out to be a Very Bad Idea, if I am sitting around in another couple of years fuming impotently and mired in a career of decreasing interest and diminishing returns, at least I'll have looked into this novel concept of finding exactly the right job for me. And trying and failing at that is better, I know, than not trying at all.
And for a while, it was just lovely. Everyone was considerate and helpful and the managers carefully nurtured their departments and the atmosphere was laid-back and friendly, and I wasn't the only one who felt that this was a place to be long-term, and we had an exciting new application coming out any day, and things were looking mighty fine, we thought.
My God, were we wrong. Couldn't have been wronger. The release date for the new app has been pushed back and pushed back and it's a year past the original due date and there's no release in sight, and everyone is upset and worried and the management is clamping down on us hard, as though forced labor and locked-up supplies and threats to view our cellphone bills if they think we're making too many personal calls are going to solve their problems. The fact is that we are hemorrhaging money, and none of us peons had more than an inkling of just how much trouble we were in until Friday, when the layoffs started without warning. Just two and a half so far, but how can we not think that there are more to come? There are already rumors floating around that the company will have to be cut back to skeleton staff by year's end, and almost everyone is angry and miserable, and thinking that even if we might once have felt like staying to the bitter end--and most of us, I think, would have, before last week--after Friday, we don't any more. What kind of company lays off employees by phone, for fuck's sake? Not the kind I want to work for, anyway.
So. Instead of settling comfortably into my life, I am unexpectedly being forced to decide what I want to do next. I'll update my resume, sure. I'll look for more tech jobs here in town, though goodness knows those aren't so thick on the ground in Macon, GA. But I mentioned before, not entirely coincidentally, that I'm not sure I want to stay in the tech industry, and I was talking to a coworker today, who handed in her notice (just last week before the shitstorm really started) to pursue her dream of opening a ballet supply shop, talking about how we just want to go to work and be happy, and I talked about used bookstores and boutique movie houses and boarding kennels, and she said well, why not? You know, I'm not a risk-taker either, but sometimes things happen to make the risks easier, and maybe you should look into now easy it might be to take a risk right now. Don't be uninformed or impulsive, because you're not going to be comfortable acting impulsively and without background knowledge. But start the research and see where it takes you.
What fabulous advice, right? Well, I am taking it. Starting tonight, I will update my resume, but I will also find copies of Starting a Business for Dummies. I will decide what I really and truly want to do with my life (right now, the most concrete notion I have is that I'd like to take the dogs to work with me, if at all possible), I will make a plan, I will talk to a bank. Those things don't cost much, and if this turns out to be a Very Bad Idea, if I am sitting around in another couple of years fuming impotently and mired in a career of decreasing interest and diminishing returns, at least I'll have looked into this novel concept of finding exactly the right job for me. And trying and failing at that is better, I know, than not trying at all.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 01:57 am (UTC)You make even this forced change a small piece of art. I so admire your approach to life.
Am very much looking forward to your posts on what you learn and decide as you research starting a business. I kind of envy you too. : )
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:05 am (UTC)*accepts hugs gratefully*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:10 am (UTC)You sound so bounce-back-ish (there's a word for that...ah, resilient?) - I'm unbelievably impressed. And, if I can be a self-help guru for a sec, I'm going to recommend a book to you. It's called Pathfinder, by Nicholas Lore, isbn 0684823993 on my edition, and while I generally hate books that tell you what to do with your life and speak in that over-enthusiastic 'get up' voice, this one's very interactive, and you get to make a little journal that's for the most part actually interesting and introspective. Anyway, I used it when I was trying to decide what I wanted to do post-B&N, and, yeah, in terms of career choice right now, I'm uberhappy. So, that's my testimonial (*climbs off soapbox*), and it might be helpful when you choose between movie theater and used bookstore and kennel. :)
*hugs once more*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:24 am (UTC)And you've recced/given far too many excellent books for me not to take your recs very seriously! I'll look for it this week and start reading, and thank you! (and I'm glad to hear that you're still happy!)
I have a rec for you, too, as it happens, but it's a frivolous one. It's called Secret Society Girl, by Diana Peterfreund, a novel about a girl who's inducted into a Skull and Bones-type society (well, let's not tiptoe, here--it is Skull and Bones, only it's called "Rose and Grave" at "Eli University") and the various hijinks that ensue, and it's a total beach read, something along the lines of Legally Blonde. I have a proof copy--you want it?
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:20 am (UTC)"Start the research and see where it takes you" is an excellent credo. Just doing even a little research gives one (well, me, at least!) a feeling of control and of wide-open possibilities, and though some pitfalls are inevitably discovered along the way, there's usually good stuff uncovered, too. I hope you'll keep us updated on what you find, and what the possibilities are, and so on. (I love the idea of you running a boarding kennel.)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 02:29 am (UTC)Exactly! Even thinking about doing research is helping me to feel a little less cornered and claustrophobic. I'll share things as I make my discoveries, good or bad, and also look forward to getting input from you guys!
I like the idea of me running a kennel too! Of the three possibilities I listed, it's the most labor-intensive and difficult, but! But!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 03:11 am (UTC)I know this might not be right for you at all. I just want you to know that you should do whatever makes you happy, and know that your loved ones will support you 100%. So go for it, whatever "it" is. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-13 01:15 pm (UTC)