She's really kind of nice.

[constance]

I haven't updated this week because my little family has been grappling with trying not to overreact to the news that my mother's latest mammogram doesn't look so good, precancer cells and worrisome lumps and exploratory surgery scheduled for next week -- and talk of mastectomy. My mother's dead upset, obviously, and my father and I are trying hard (and successfully, as far as she knows) to stay optimistic and keep to the discussion rules that she's set. Which hasn't really made the week better -- maybe a tiny bit less stressful -- and it doesn't make well-meant conversations like this any easier.

Me: I may need to take a long lunch on Wednesday -- my mother's having outpatient surgery, my father travels a lot, and if he's out of town she'll need someone to take her home.

My boss: Well, if you need it, take the whole day and stay with her. I'd hate to think -- well, I know what it's like to have a parent go into a routine surgery and not come back out.

Me: O_o

My boss: My father had a skin cancer removed and had a reaction to the anaesthesia and died in recovery.

Me: o_O

My boss: I never got to say goodbye.

Me: O_o

Me: Oh my God I guess I will take Wednesday off.

Comments

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn--I am so sorry. But I hope for the best prognosis possible from the exploratory (and she's going to do fine under the anesthesia, but I understand why you're nervous).

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I think she'll do fine under anaesthesia as well--and thanks for the reassurance!

[gmth.livejournal.com]

My fingers and toes are crossed for all of you. Here's hoping the news is good. *hugs*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Mine are crossed too. She's had some close calls before, and I'm kind of hoping that this will be another one that's not quite as bad as it's first appearing. *hugs*

[submarine.livejournal.com]

omg ahh. stories like that terrify me. :|

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Me too! It's as though my brain doesn't acknowledge a worst possible scenario until someone else suggests the possibility, and then once it's suggested, the idea seizes my brain and it can't think of anything else.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Best wishes and all love to you and your family, especially mom. Also, your boss, WTF. "Oh, you're about to enjoy a delicious chicken sandwich? You know, that makes me think of Mama Cass."

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, exactly. And thanks, sweetie :)

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Oh, way to be reassuring and supportive! Go, boss!

*hugs*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

My boss is often awkward-but-well-intentioned in this way. Man, think about what you're saying to people! Good grief!

*hugs*

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

oh, I'm not good with these things.

{{{{hugs}}}}

modern medicine is wonderful, it really is - and getting better every day. ::fingers crossed::

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I know, and she and her doctors have been working hard to stay on top of things, so I'm hoping that everything really will turn out okay.

[jossish.livejournal.com]

My fingers are crossed for your mum, and I'm thinking of you. *hugs*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs*

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

Those kinds of things are so scary (and wow...way to freak somebody out). I'm thinking good thoughts for you all!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thanks--the good thoughts will definitely come in handy, I think. :)

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Oh, your boss. I wonder, does he realize later what he's actually said, and cringe with remorse and embarrassment? Or is he genuinely clueless?

I'm keeping all of my toes and fingers crossed for your mom (and you, and your family!) to come through this with a minimum of pain and worry. This won't cancel out the TOTAL DOOM brought up by your boss, but we went through this exact scenario with my aunt about 5 years ago, and she's doing splendidly now.

xoxoxoxoox

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I think my boss does sometimes recognize that what she's said is kind of inappropriate, for whatever reason, but she doesn't really know how to backtrack and say, whoops I may have screwed up there. Strangely, it's easier to hear things like this knowing she's just kind of inept, rather than oblivious. Gotta take the intention into account.

And it helps to remember that there are plenty of success stories out there. Thanks so much for sharing yours -- and I'm very, very glad she's remained healthy for so long. :D

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

Oh, Cammy--that sucks, I'm so sorry. I'll be sitting here hoping that whatever they find out is the best it possibly could be. (And...way to be supportive and calm, boss!)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thanks, missy -- you don't know how much I appreciate it.

[leestone.livejournal.com]

How terrifying. Cam, I'm so, so sorry. Give your folks lots of love. I'll talk to you soon.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I will do that thing (and keep some for myself too -- I feel sure that there's plenty to go round). Love you lots, kid.

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mother. I hope things go well on Wednesday.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thanks -- if good wishes count for anything at all, I think she'll be fine.

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

Oh boy. Ineptly conveyed, but yeah, take the whole day and be there for your mom. Warm thoughts to all of you.

would your mother's life be improved by visits from a b.b.d.?

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

i cannot lie; it's potential situtions like this {exploratory surgery, not slight work-place awkwardness) that make me glad to be moving back to my mother's geographic location, just in case. it's like, it's your mom!!1! i hope everything goes well for her.

and you too, sweetie. definitely keep some of these well wishes for yourself.

Re: would your mother's life be improved by visits from a b.b.d.?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, she has a BBD of her own, and understands their allure, but I think my BBD would maybe be a bit much for her, post-op.

I'm glad I live close to my mother too--not least because if I didn't live close to her I probably wouldn't even know that she was having surgery until it was all over. >:O She's very sneakey about these things.

(Also, hi! I am sending some good wishes back your way, okay?)

[21stcenturysei.livejournal.com]

Sorry for a mildly belated response here, but lots of hugs and support are coming your way from me, even if there's a slight time zone issue. On the bright side, this means that while you're slumbering, I'm still sending love. I hope everything goes well, and know that we all care deeply about you and your family.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It is indeed comforting to know that good wishes are coming even as I dream.

And I'm glad to see you're still having fun! Say hello to Edinburgh for me.

[leestone.livejournal.com]

Oh my Christ. Will you mail/post for me your home phone or cell #? :/ I am having lost number issues here.

I so, so hope things went well today. I'm thinking about you. I'll call as soon as I can.