I should make a poll, but I am just so lazy.

[constance]

I've been kind of quiet lately because I've been working on a Mother's Day present for my sentimental mother. It is a homemade project, a biggish one, which I am calling "One Hundred Letters." I've bought a photo album, the kind with plastic pockets for photos, and in each pocket I will put one letter, a story of us. I think my mother will love it, but I am having a moment of crisis because I can't decide on something, and I want you to help me.

So these letters, they are memories and impressions of my childhood and adulthood from the daughter perspective of a mother-daughter relationship. I was lucky to have had a engaged and committed parents, so I have tons of stories--more than enough to make it to a hundred, no matter what--but I'm not sure whether to include good stories and uncomfortable ones, or only stick to the good ones.

Now, I'm not talking about traumas, or family skeletons. I know that a mother's day present is not the place to talk about the worst moments of either of our lives. And I wouldn't include anything uncomfortable that didn't have something of redeeming value in it; I'm only talking about the things that might not reflect one or another of us--or either of us--in the rosiest light. The time I threw a candle at my mother. The time she forgot my brother at a gas station (BEFORE YOU CALL THE POLICE THERE IS A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS I PROMISE YOU).

So that's the crisis of indecision. Should I include the not-so-good stuff with the good? What do you think?

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

My daughter is only six, so I don't know what it's like to be the mother of an adult -- but from whatever limited self-knowledge I have now, I think I'd want all of it. The good and the not-so-good.

What an incredibly beautiful mother's day gift! You do know that she's probably going to bawl her eyes out. Or at least I would.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

I think yes, if the story has an ultimately happy ending -- if one of you learned something from the experience and know it, etc.

What a great idea. I'm glad my mother won't know about it. You are making the rest of us look bad. Me anyway.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Like resonant8, I don't have the "mom with grown-up kids" insight, but looking at it from my limited 10 years' worth of experience, plus considering my own relationship with my mom, I'd say the uncomfortable ones have their place in the hundred. Sometimes, after all, those experiences can be looked back on with humor, and they all do have redeeming value, as you said, so I vote for including them.

That said, what a fabulous gift. It's a tremendous present that she'll treasure forever, and I applaud your creativity. Will she savor the letters, spacing them out over days, or will she blow through them all at once?

Also, I want to hear the gas station story sometime. You know, when you're not busy writing a hundred letters!

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

I think that as long as you are doing it to be completist and not to be subconsciously passive-aggressive, it is a-okay.

Also I just got home from seeing my boyfriend John Darnielle (<3!) and I haven't even BEGUN to pack!

AM I FUCKED OR WHAT!??!?!?!?!

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

I was going to say what Bowdlerised said above. Make sure the not-so-good memories are done with a light touch, and *not even a hint* of grudge-settling. Sounds like a marvellous present - I'm sure she'll love it.