The apostasy of me. Or not.

[constance]

George W. Bush was in my town today, and my mind is on politics tonight.

I won't even start talking about how quickly he can make the bile rise in my throat (it's practically a Pavlovian response by now, I would think), or how his shell-game politics leave me feeling as though my intelligence has been insulted almost beyond bearing every time he opens his goddamned mouth and at the same time questioning the intelligence of all the people who lap up every word he says the way my dog licks up cat puke if he gets to it before I can. How it's taken years of... Nope, not going to talk about it any more.

Instead, I'm going to talk about a conversation I had with my father when I was in college. I was being probably unbearable and sanctimoniously liberal about something or other, and he informed me that he'd been a liberal once too, but that time and a family and a mortgage had changed his mind. That I would change my mind, too, once I entered the real world and had adult responsibilities to face.

And tonight it's nearly twenty years down the road, and undoubtedly my father would claim that I'm maintaining an unhealthy grip on my Neverlandish talent for avoidance and idealization. But the rest of the world thinks I'm toeing the line pretty well, I thank you. I have adult responsibilities now. No marriage, nor is there likely to be one, but I have a house and a car. Pets. I pay my bills on time, all of them. I'm middle-class! I go to work and pay my taxes and contribute to my 401(k) account! Hey, I even know how to punctuate 401(k)!

But I'm still a liberal. I don't think my affiliations are going to change, either. I don't feel as though I'm closing myself off from the beliefs I once held. They've become tempered by practicality, sure, and I'm more circumspect than I used to be, but I think I'm only less hotheaded now, not more reactionary. Possibly in some ways I've become more liberal, as I've become wiser and more compassionate and less self-centered over the years.

My father wasn't even ten years older than I am now when he made that pronouncement to me. Really, don't you think that if my conversion had been going to happen at all, it would surely have started happening by now? I think my father was wrong, and I won't insult him by ranting about yellow-dog democrats and lame-ass frat boys too busy drinking to know their own minds, much though I'm tempted to do so tonight, all soured as I am by insanely listening to five minutes of GWB before turning the television off.

Instead, I'm just wondering: what about you? Have you become more conservative as the years have gone by? More liberal? Have you changed in political essentials at all, as you've left your college years behind?

Comments

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I am that way, too, actually, even more disappointed in the Democratic candidates of the past few years than the Republican ones, because my expectations are so much higher. I have a suspicion that because it takes a certain amount of arrogance and entitlement and manipulation to even make it as a serious presidential contender, I won't like any of the contenders I see from here on out, so I can't vote for someone I just like a hell of a lot; and I can't trust any of them to keep their campaign promises because so many forces work against even the most idealistic candidates that I feel as though it's ridiculous of anyone to promise anything, and so it's pointless to vote on issues alone... It's a dismaying prospect, to say the least, and I have a lot of elections still to go.

I wouldn't call myself an atheist, just an agnostic, but I so sympathize with your own position. Every year I am a little further away from my Catholic upbringing, and a little more wary of people who believe.

There was a terrific interview of Dawkins last week in Salon; did you see it? I'll be glad to send it to you if you haven't and don't feel like jumping through hoops to get a day pass for the site. He's a fascinating interviewee, astringent but willing to listen to opposition and argue it point by point without being rude. (A mighty trick!) His book's been on my list since I read the interview, but I haven't gotten round to it yet.

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

I read the Salon interview, thanks. He's a good writer - most amusing. However, my favourite atheist polemicist remains AC Grayling, if only for his gorgeous prose style. He just wrote a terrific piece questioning why non-believers feel impelled to give religious people so much "respect". His angle is that intrinsic human attributes - race, sexuality etc - are more worthy of respect than what we choose to believe. I've split the link in two because CIF has this annoying trackback system that publicises sources linking to its posts.

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk

/ac_grayling/2006/10/acgrayling.htm