constance | *rattles cage bars*

I've been meaning to mention the Ann Coulter plagiarism scandal for the past few days, but I've hesitated because I hate her so very, very much. She is without question my pet whipping girl for the whole conservative media, and I've been afraid that anything I could write about her would be chock-full of ye olde schadenfreude, and that's not exactly the way to comment rationally, is it?

But the more time goes on, the more columnists and reporters who weigh in on this issue, the more I just don't give a shit how biased and unfair I sound. It's true that I hate her. Man, oh man, do I hate Ann Coulter, more than just about any conservative columnist I can think of, because God, at least other conservative writers have style or intelligence on their side (and sometimes they even have both); at least other conservative writers have thoughtful opinions and can speak eloquently of them. Ann Coulter is a moron who can't even put together a competent sentence, much less a cogent argument; not to mention she's one of those loathsome antifeminists who capitalize on the movement's achievements while somehow forgetting to give it credit for giving them a goddamn voice in the first place; and her politics are so incendiary, muddy, and generally wrongheaded that even other conservatives (of the more reputable sort) distance themselves from her. And she further discredits the conservative movement with nearly every sensationalist column she writes, and still people listen to her. Why, God, why?

I mean to say. Honestly. What's not to hate?

So, yeah, the stench of schadenfreude hangs over any comment I might have to make about this latest Coulter controversy. I admit it; I am reading updates and commentaries with glee. Glee, I tell you! But putting my own feelings aside, and trying to speak with as much objectivity as possible: whom do her defenders and apologists think they're kidding? It's true that there are only so many ways to report the news. But it is also true that most reporters manage to do it--indeed, are careful to do it--without "accidentally" quoting each other word for word. I've seen the evidence (albeit evidence quoted by unreliable witch-hunters from the Liberal Media), and it looks pretty irrefutable. And I'd have a lot more respect for Coulter--well, okay, a little more respect, a teensy lift in the total searing contempt I've had for her since I first saw her spewing invective all over the goddamn place--if she were to stand up now and take her licks like a person responsible for her own actions and decisions.

And now I'm just going to stop trying to be rational and go back to reading and rooting for a total career meltdown. I say to you now, if this scandal brings her down, if I never have to see her gracing the cover of a cretinous and badly-written bestseller again, I will be a very happy woman.