god damn your confusion.

[constance]

One of the things I was doing on my scheduled-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life week was to take my neighbor out running errands yesterday. I don't know if I've mentioned this neighbor before? She's single, in her seventies, can no longer drive, has lots of trouble walking because she broke her hip and leg last year. Gets around mostly in one of those scooter chairs, and you can see her most days puttering down our street to the grocery or some such thing. She sometimes corrals me for a nice long chat as I'm getting in or out of my car; she displays a decided knack for catching me as I'm on my way for something I oughtn't be late for, or else when I've got a carload of groceries to unload, and that right quick.

She's nice, though, and keeps me well-stocked in Virginia Henley and Eugenia Price novels, and last week her scooter broke down, and she's having trouble getting repairs scheduled, so I've been fielding twenty-minute conversations with repair crews and in the meantime of course she's got the shopping to do, and so I took her out yesterday to Wal-Mart, the bank, her landlord's office, etc.

I mentioned that her health, it is not so great? In addition to the hip+leg issue, she has trouble with inner ear+equilibrium, and apparently some nebulous quasi-diabetic blood sugar problems as well. And that brings me to the reason I've mentioned her in the first place: that yesterday we bought food on our trip, and here is what we bought, in toto:

(1) loaf white bread
(1) gallon milk
(1) loaf raisin bread
(2) quarts peach sherbet
(2) packs of 18-count twin banana-favored popsicles
(10) cups of fruit custard yogurt
(1) six-pack of sweet rolls
(1) gallon sweet tea
(1) 6-pack of mini-shortcakes
(1) packet frozen strawberries
(1) cantaloupe
(1) honeydew melon


And I don't know her nearly, nearly well enough to comment on this, but oh my gosh, how many times did I have to force myself from asking her if this was really such a hot idea, all this sugar, not to mention having to force myself not to sneak some vegetables into her cart or something. All morning at the Super-Wal-Mart, I kept reminding myself that Miss B's nutrition was none of my business, and yet. This cannot possibly be good for her, can it? And yet again, she's got a perfect right to go to hell her own damn way.

Would you say something, if it were you?

:::

My life has been in flux for going on three years now. New cities, new jobs, new people, lost people, new pets, lost pets, disrupted schedules, new experiences. Some welcome, some unwelcome, some both at once. And I'm not much for change, me, not much for uncertainty, and now that my life has settled into something like a regular (and ongoing) routine in a city in which I'm comfortable, I'm more content than I can remember having been for several years--certainly much longer than three.

So explain to me why all my dreams lately have been about change? Last night's dream was this: littlemissloony and I were brand-new housemates, and we found the perfect house to rent--perfect except that there were no bedrooms. littlemissloony was okay with this, and said that we could just put our beds out in the back yard, and I had misgivings but we did this and it was actually quite nice. And that was last night's, but they're all like this, all about new things and loss and flux, and I'm wondering why they're coming now, just when I'm finally, really getting settled.

Comments

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. That's really a tough one with Miss B. and her off-the-glycemic-charts grocery list. (And wow, talk about a double whammy- sugar is SOOOO bad for any inner ear/equilibrium issues. I didn't know this before my mom got stricken with labyrinthitis, but I sure know it now.)

There are some senior citizens, like the majority of those who used to seek me out at ye olde health food store, who really like putting the oft-confusing dietary decisions into the hands of someone else- the "Just tell me what I should eat to be healthy, and by golly, I'll be in here like clockwork every three days buying fresh oat bran and cranberry concentrate!" people. Then there are those like all four of my grandparents, who either nodded cheerfully when someone suggested whole grain bread, leafy greens and lean protein, and then secretly stockpiled Dreyer's ice cream and Coca-cola when we weren't looking, or else were blatantly surly about their sugar addiction and told us in carefully PG-13 terms where to stuff our nutritious suggestions.

Coming from a job situation where I sort of acted as dietitian/newly-diagnosed-as-allergic-to-something therapist, I was often really surprised at how uninformed people were about what's in their food- even today, where the newspapers and magazines really go into a lot of detail about nutrition. I wonder if you might casually bring up the subject of good habits (my sister linked me to a recent Oprah episode that made over a woman's unhealthy diet, and they covered stuff like white sugar, "enriched flour", trans-fat and so on, and highlighted some "must have" nutrients, and then showed how much the woman's health and appearance changed after making these adjustments) and see whether she gets that "Yes, yes, dear, that's nice" glaze to her eyes, or whether she's interested. If it were me, I'd probably mention my mom's problems with sugar exacerbating dizziness, and see where the conversation went from there.

Aiee- sorry to go on so long! I'd have been a nutritionist if I had the necessary math skillz, and I miss the hack job counseling I did at the store.

As for the dreams, I'm baffled. Why flux and loss now, unless you're afraid that something's going to threaten what you have now?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

No, no, thanks for the advice! It's great stuff, and I'll look for opportunities to casually mention it all, and take my cues from her response.

I love this about livejournal, that I can ask a question and get experienced perspectives in response. For example, I totally didn't know that sugar was bad for people with equilibrium problems, and that'll come in handy with my father as well; he has balance problems too, and while he doesn't eat tons of sugar, I wonder if he knows this information. If he doesn't, I bet he'll take the info and run with it!

[proteinscollide.livejournal.com]

I think, simply, that if you bring up that you are concerned about what she's eating, that hopefully she'll be grateful that you're so concerned about her in the first place that she might listen to what you say. I'm sure she knows it's not good for her anyway, but for any older person who's lonely (which her knack of cornering you for conversations seems to indicate), having someone care about you is a powerful motivating factor for positive change. (oh great, now I sound like my lecture notes)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha! I catch myself up like that sometimes too! But thanks--it's an excellent perspective, and I'll keep it in mind when I find the right moment to talk to her.

[jossish.livejournal.com]

I have nothing intelligent to say beyond that totally sounds like something I would suggest.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

But you were absoutely right to suggest it! It worked out really well. We divided our spaces up with white picket fences, and it was wonderful, sleeping outside.

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

I desperately want to sleep in the backyard! Except I have no backyard, darnit. I've always remembered seeing a home design feature in the NY Times Magazine about a country house where the master bedroom had a little wheel track so the residents could roll their bed out onto the balcony on warm nights and then roll it in again when they were through. It sounded so perfect to me. I love sleeping under the open sky.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ooh, the balcony sounds lovely! This is a thing I love about Craftsman architecture, that a regular feature in houses is a sleeping porch, screened or open. (They're often cannibalized in renovations, which is an enormous pity!) On my list of maybe-someday-if-I-get-rich renovations is adding a sleeping porch onto the back of my house, opening off my bedroom. It'll probably never happen, because let's face it, I'll probably never be rich, but it's so much fun to dream about it.