I have a college degree and everything!

[constance]

I may or may not be able to post this--we'll just be seeing about that--but I did want to take a brief moment to relate to you two things that I did today, written, for a change, from the POV of my Inner Voice.

1. Oh noooooooo I broke my car! It won't move even though I have my foot on the gas pedal! No matter how much I press! It just revs and revs! I will have to get a tow truck! I will have to call to see if I can borrow my parents' car! I can't afford major car repairs! But no amount of revving is helpi--oh. Okay, next time put the car into gear before you freak out, genius.



2. Shit, this egg isn't even close to boiled. I think I'll stick it into the microwave in five-second intervals, since I know that if eggs will explode if you put them in the microwave. Five-four-three.... But how do I know for sure that they really explode? Because I've heard it but I've never seen it, and it might just be an urban legend. Now I really want to know! I'll set for a minute... HAHAHAHAHAHAH IT REALLY DOES EXPLODE! AFTER ONLY FIFTEEN SECONDS! My God, microwave ovens rock so completely that I don't even care that I'm going to die of brain cancer by sitting here in front of it watching eggs explode.
   
   But will I really get brain cancer, or is that just an urban legend?

Comments

[leestone.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahahahaha

[submarine.livejournal.com]

i really overcommitted to mine, didn't i.

[leestone.livejournal.com]

yeah okay maybe a little. :|

[leestone.livejournal.com]

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*smug*

I know how to live each moment to the fullest.

[submarine.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSS

[tofty.livejournal.com]

You know, it was really kind of a good day. :D

[quartertosix.livejournal.com]

I love this entry very, very, very deeply. And goddamn, it is a good thing that I do not have any eggs right now, or I'd be getting brain cancer too. :D

[tofty.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha! It is an experiment worth repeating, next time you have eggs.

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, egg salad. I just knew this post was actually going to be about the bento, deep down.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Damn, and I thought I had concealed my secret references so thoroughly! :D

[jossish.livejournal.com]

*cracks up* Your inner voice sounds like my inner voice. I am glad I'm not alone.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*thumbs up* I feel the same way! Your inner voice should post too.

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

The egg scenario is brilliant! I once read a book where two young girls were attempting to make Austrian torte. Unfortunately they didn't have enough eggs, but one remembered that during the wartime rationing you could substitute vinegar for an egg. So they made torte with one egg and lots of vinegar and it was a mess, as you'd expect. But it's the kind of thing I can see myself doing.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, this is the sort of thing I'd have done with my childhood BFF--we improvised many a recipe that turned out so horridly that I think it's probably the reason that I can no longer make substitutions without feeling a frisson of terror at what huge mistake I am making.

:D:D:D Thanks for sharing!

I thought it was KFC that gave us brain cancer

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Your inner voice needs to make many more posts. And have you tried marshmallows in the microwave? They're not quite as dramatic, but still fun (marshmallow peeps in particular, but for animal lovers like us it's better to choose a not-chick-or-bunny-shaped one) because they grow, and grow, and mutate, and then, wham!

Re: I thought it was KFC that gave us brain cancer

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I haven't tried marshmallows! I'm not much of a marshmallower, on the whole, but I'm really tempted to go out and buy a little bag--if they sell little bags--so I can experiment.

Surely they sell little bags now of all times! Easter seems a particularly marshmallowy holiday.

:-? One question, though. How hard is it to clean up the mess afterward? Seems like it might be a little sticky and tricky.

Re: I thought it was KFC that gave us brain cancer

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

You could totally get a 6-pack of the newish egg-shaped Peeps and experiment. And they don't explode messily, so your microwave should weather the blast okay.

Re: I thought it was KFC that gave us brain cancer

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*adds peeps (of the non-animal kind) to te grocery list*