My perfect life
Feb. 3rd, 2006 12:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
constanceSo I have a few minutes still before I must leave to pick up ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
coco_palmolive at the airport (:D:D:D:D:D!), and Titus the Greyhound is lying at the foot of my desk and my kitchen is completely unpacked and my house looks so wonderful I can hardly believe it's mine, though I'm finally starting to believe it really must be, and the feeling that it is just a temporary sort of home and will soon be taken away from me is finally receding. And coco and I will buy some cheap and well-designed object from IKEA in your name, and we will toast you this weekend and wish you were here.
All these things are true and I am most excited about them; but to be honest, that's not the reason I am updating now. I am updating now because of this inexplicable craving I had at the grocery today for chicken corndogs. I bought them and had them for lunch, and as I ate, I thought about the wooden sticks, stamped with the company logo, and also about those popsicle sticks which are stamped with jokes that reveal themselves as you eat, and I had this idea that the chicken corndog sticks should have chicken jokes on them. The company logo is so boring! And there are so many completely fabulous chicken jokes in the world! I myself have an entire book of them. (Also of elephant jokes, but as far as I know elephant meat is not in vogue, and certainly not available on sticks.) Surely there is a market for the chicken-joke-on-a-stick!
It should, but will not, go without saying that for some reason, I felt it imperative that I share this with you. And now you know the worst about me there is to know:
(1) I eat chicken corn dogs, on occasion. And enjoy them.
(2) I cannot experience a revelation without sharing it with my flist.
(3) Said revelations are almost always completely trivial and useless.
(4) I like--no, I love--chicken jokes.
I only hope you continue to respect me after learning these dreadful secrets. Assuming, of course, that you respected me in the first place.
coco_palmolive at the airport (:D:D:D:D:D!), and Titus the Greyhound is lying at the foot of my desk and my kitchen is completely unpacked and my house looks so wonderful I can hardly believe it's mine, though I'm finally starting to believe it really must be, and the feeling that it is just a temporary sort of home and will soon be taken away from me is finally receding. And coco and I will buy some cheap and well-designed object from IKEA in your name, and we will toast you this weekend and wish you were here.All these things are true and I am most excited about them; but to be honest, that's not the reason I am updating now. I am updating now because of this inexplicable craving I had at the grocery today for chicken corndogs. I bought them and had them for lunch, and as I ate, I thought about the wooden sticks, stamped with the company logo, and also about those popsicle sticks which are stamped with jokes that reveal themselves as you eat, and I had this idea that the chicken corndog sticks should have chicken jokes on them. The company logo is so boring! And there are so many completely fabulous chicken jokes in the world! I myself have an entire book of them. (Also of elephant jokes, but as far as I know elephant meat is not in vogue, and certainly not available on sticks.) Surely there is a market for the chicken-joke-on-a-stick!
It should, but will not, go without saying that for some reason, I felt it imperative that I share this with you. And now you know the worst about me there is to know:
(1) I eat chicken corn dogs, on occasion. And enjoy them.
(2) I cannot experience a revelation without sharing it with my flist.
(3) Said revelations are almost always completely trivial and useless.
(4) I like--no, I love--chicken jokes.
I only hope you continue to respect me after learning these dreadful secrets. Assuming, of course, that you respected me in the first place.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 06:22 pm (UTC)You're taking pictures of the unpacked house at some point, right? And Titus? I'm particularly on tenterhooks waiting to see Titus. It's been a 10-year dream of mine to someday own a Greyhound; the spouse and I disagree about this, so it may be a long time in coming, but thanks to you, I can now live the Greyhoundful life vicariously.
I can't keep any revelations to myself, either. Even when I've fallen on a slick patch of pavement, or see a Jack-in-the-Box antenna ball stuck on a tree branch on my hiking path, I'm always thinking, "How can I incorporate this into a post?"
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 04:24 am (UTC)I haven't taken pictures of my moved-into house yet. To be honest, I am not entirely sure where my digital camera is right now--but as soon as I find it, I'll nap like crazy.
Titus is so wonderful! So sweet and quiet and lovely. And you will have to come visit and get a greyhound fix, because he loves attention and loves being around people.
I do actually have a picture of Titus, I've just remembered! I took it when my parents first got him. It's not an especially lovely picture--it doesn't do him justice--but it'll be a little preview before I can get some nicer pictures taken.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 06:34 pm (UTC)I myself particularly like light bulb jokes and talking dog jokes, and I will tell you one of each.
How many Hollywood couples does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows; Hollywood marriages don't last as long as light bulbs.
...
A woman goes to a movie, and in the row in front of her are a man and a dog. The dog is riveted on the screen. It whines at the scary scenes and wags its tail at the funny scenes and growls at the villain.
At the end of the movie, the woman says to the man, "I've been watching your dog all through the film. It's the most amazing thing I ever saw." And the man says, "Yes, and the really amazing thing is that he hated the book."
no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 04:37 am (UTC)Here're a couple of jokes for you, one straight-up chicken and one hybrid:
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
Because she was afraid someone would caesar!
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-05 02:53 am (UTC)I've heard two other answers to the surrealist question:
1. Two. One to wrestle the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.
2. The fish.
How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But it takes a lot of light bulbs.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-03 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-04 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-06 04:06 am (UTC)How are you??
no subject
Date: 2006-02-05 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-06 04:07 am (UTC)And thanks for the congratulations! :D
no subject
Date: 2006-02-05 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-06 04:08 am (UTC)NOW WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT MISSY.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 01:31 am (UTC)hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... ♥