Live from the St. James Infirmary

[constance]

*SCREAMS*
*RUNS AROUND IN LITTLE CIRCLES*

About an hour ago, we got a message from our HR department telling us that someone in our company has tested positive for TB and is awaiting test results to discover whether whether the infection is active or not. So we have every last one of us spent the last hour by (1) speculating on who it could possibly be, (2) becoming as expert as possible in the space of one hour, and (3) PANICKING OMFG ARE WE GOING TO BE QUARANTINED I AM CRAMMED INTO A BARELY-AIR-CONDITIONED DISEASE INCUBATOR FOR EIGHT HOURS EVERY SATURDAY I HAVE A SON WITH ASTHMA MY KIDS JUST WENT BACK TO SCHOOL OMG OMG OMG.

From a practical standpoint, considering who everyone thinks it probably is, there's not much chance that my department will be infected. But still there is this small part of everyone in the building which is saying to them, right at this minute, NO REALLY I AM GOING TO DIE JUST LIKE CAMILLE COUGHING BLOOD DELICATELY INTO MY HANKIE HOLY SHIT I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE.

So. How's your day going?

Comments

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

You know, ever after I read Sontag's Illness as Metaphor, I always wanted TB. Aside from the blood-coughing, she made it seem really rather old-school glamorous.

Are they going to keep you penned up there until they find out????

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Nah, we got sent home with the assurance that if we needed to be tested the head of HR would get in touch with us right away.

And it is a very glamorous illness among the elite--wasting away of consumption, delicate and feverish. If you were a 19th-century novelist and wanted a tragic illness that was didn't interfere with the nobility and fineness of your character, you gave them consumption. And never mentioned the blood-coughing.

[font.livejournal.com]

You know, whenever things got to be Too Much, I also always used to wish I had TB. I didn't want to be glamorous, really. I just wanted permission to rest quietly and read until I felt Up To It again.

In fact, when I read this, I had a small, insane stab of jealously for the guy who did test positively.

O_o

[tofty.livejournal.com]

You and coco! You are kind of nuts, the both of you. I leave you to bond over your insane desire to be infected by an ineradicable disease. And I feel better about my own childhood desire to have a broken leg.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

Also. MAYBE IT IS YOU.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

WHAT IF IT IS?

:o:o:o:o:o

It finally occurred to me, selfish thing that I am, to feel badly for the poor guy who has it, though. He's got a terrible time ahead of him.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

But remember Ruby Gillis in one of the Anne of Green Gables sequels? She was described as having such a lovely complexion- snowy pale with a "hectic flush" and glittering eyes. You'd be omgcoughcoughdying, but you'd be picturesque!

Also, how utterly weird that I'm on my way right now to get TB tested (because I'll be coming into contact with the nation's children and it's imperative that I prove that I'm not bristling with disease!). Best of luck that you get a clean bill of health. I'm standing by, though, in case you need anyone to wipe your brow with a hankie dipped in rosewater and read to you out of a book of poetry as you languish on a chaise longue amidst the summer's roses.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I do remember? Camille, also, was fragile and tragic and flushed and very beautiful.

I am thinking that I am just fine, but be warned: if I turn out to have shared needles or slept with my coworker after all, I'm going to take you up on your rosewater-and-hankie offer. We tragic heroines need our foils, you know.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

if I turn out to have shared needles or slept with my coworker after all

Isn't it vexing how incidents like that can slip the mind so easily! And then the coworker happens to waggle his/her eyebrows significantly at you in the hall and you can't figure out why!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Indeed! I hate when that happens.

I forgot to tell you, by the way, that I will happily do the same for you, should you turn out to be consumptive.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

*coughs delicately*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*sneaks your hankie to check for blood!*

[alkaloid.livejournal.com]

As I understand it, the biggest problem with TB in this day and age is making sure patients finish their medicine?

*smokes inappropriately*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Yeah--whether it's you or someone else finishing. The meds work well, if you take the full course, and if you haven't unluckily picked it up from someone who hasn't finished. There are plenty of strains out there that've become resistant and very hard to kill.

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. How scary. Quarantine sounds bad all by itself. Hope you are OK.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Now that the initial panic is over, I'm pretty sure most of us are okay, because our office staff is spread out over two floors and we really don't share needles in the back alley. But I'm feeling sorry for the people who do have to worry.

[sunkentreasure.livejournal.com]

I know a girl who tests positive for TB, and has all her life, but has neve shown any symptoms. Never shown symptoms to the point that she's been through med school and is a doctor now. I don't understand.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, the bacteria is either active or inactive, and if it's inactive, you can have it for years and not suffer any symptoms.

Also, as I understand it, TB can't actually be "cured;" that is, it's never entirely eradicated from your body. When you're successfully treated for TB, you're basically just a host for the inactive bacteria, like your friend. There are apparently lots of such people about.

[font.livejournal.com]

Yikes. I hope that you are safe and well as always, and I hope that your coworker has a relatively easy time of it, and at least gets some small intellectual pleasure from the whole ordeal. You will let us know when you find out if you will need us to keep the shades perpetually drawn from now on, yes?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am safe and well. No news yet as to whether we'll need to get tested, which seems to be good news so far. But I shall indeed keep everyone posted.

And S. doesn't really seem the type to find TB glamorous, or to even know about its literary life, though I could be totally wrong about this because I don't know him that well. But I hope he does, a little; it might more interesting that way.