Hi and everything. Hi.

[constance]

It's not all HBP all the time, for me, you know. Sure, I'm spending more time than I strictly should basking in afterglow, picking up my copy to read the bits I love one more time, thinking idly of things to write about it that I know perfectly well will never get written, scanning images to make icons for me and my friends. But I do think about other things, sometimes, too, and since it seems that this journal has become regrettably Pottercentric for those of you who don't have the slightest interest in HP, I feel it's time to catch you up so that you don't start wanting to kill me. (I am optimistically assuming, of course, that you didn't already want to see me dead.)

1. Okay, this is sort of Potter-ish, but so on crack that I can't seem to stop myself: following fandom wank and watching the HBP fallout. Is it just me, or is it particularly messy this time? Histrionic leaving-the-fandom announcements, sure, but also petitions demanding comprehensive apologies from JKR, campaigns for collecting enough money to run a full-page ad in the NYT (for the record, a full-page cross-country ad in the Sunday paper costs $145K or so) telling her how disappointed in her they are, and my personal favorite, a plan to rewrite the entirety of HBP according to their specifications. And that's just the Harry/Hermione shippers! Holy shit, dude. Holy shit, people are crazy sometimes. I mean. Holy shit.



2. Seeing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was so creepy and funny and faithful to the original that even the added plot framing everything didn't bother me too much. I have always been Roald Dahl's bitch and had really high expectations going in, and was possibly the most gratified I've ever been, going in to a movie adaptation of a book I love. Even including The Secret Garden, which I absolutely adore. (I am not even going to start on why Agnieszka Holland would make a great Harry Potter director, because that would just be trying your patience too high and this post is supposed to be not about That.)



3. Eating Cheez-Its. They are the world's most perfect food. Do not argue with me on this point; I know I am right.



4. Bring asked out by, as per usual, people who would not have the slightest bit of interest in me if they knew me better. It's like this: I am quiet and sympathetic and really reserved with people I don't know well and dress pretty conservatively and am ultimately a backgroundy, forgettable sort of person, and so people tend to think I am a sweet Pollyanna of a Christian girl. I am not, though. Okay, yeah, I am reasonably kind and considerate, but I am also a porn-reading socialist agnostic neurotic potty-mouth with a temper and an inappropriate sense of humor. And so when some nice God-fearing man asks me where I go to church and do I want to have dinner with him sometime, I have to say no, because do I want to hear about the spiritual journeys of near strangers? No, I do not. Do I think sometimes about my own spiritual journey? Yes, I do, but it ain't nobody's business if I do. Do I want to be proselytized? Witnessed? Fellowshipped? FUCK NO, MAN. If I were to go out with someone at all, and frankly the chances don't exactly present themselves every day or anything, I would just want somebody to hang out with, someone who reads books and goes to movies and likes at least some of the things I like and does not care in the least that I have not been to a church on matters unrelated to birth, death, or marriage in twenty years. I would not think it would be too much to ask. But it really does seem to be so. Or maybe, as coco has claimed, the Ghost of Pope John Paul II really is trying to tell me something.



5. Falling upstairs in front of a roomful of people. Ouch. In more ways than one.



6. Not cleaning my house. I am like a seven-year-old boy avoiding a bath, in that my elaborate attempts to avoid thinking about or, you know, actually doing any cleaning are much more time-consuming than simply getting around to picking up the box that Flannery shredded off the floor and putting my shoes back in the closet and washing the hand-wash shirt that's been sitting in my clothes-hamper for about six weeks now. And sweeping and mopping and dusting, and cleaning the bathroom, and--okay, maybe I'm not spending more time avoiding than it would take to clean. Woohoo, back to avoidance with a clear conscience!



7. Getting birthday presents together but not actually mailing them. One day, I will admit to myself that I am fearfully bad at mailing out packages for people, and just start sending everything from online. But this, as Aragorn might say, is not that day. My apologies to bowdlerized, coco_palmolive, elynrae, and onthecontrary. You are not the only ones, but I figure as long as I'm apologizing, I'll single you out. And it's not that I don't love you, because I do. It is mostly just that I suck.



8. Buying PC games, namely Myst III and American McGee's Alice. I don't know precisely why, years after these games first came out, years after anyone else stopped caring about them, I have been suddenly stricken with the urge to own them for myself and spend all my time playing them. Possibly it is because buying them both cost me about ten dollars on half.com. Yeah, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure that must be the reason. Now I just need a dirt-cheap copy of the Sims, I guess, and then you'll never see me again.

And there are more important things, too. News of my grandmother continues to upset. My dog continues to have Cushing's Disease and need boosting and carrying up and down stairs, need cleaning up after, need three trips outside per night. I am lending sympathetic ears to unhappy friends. I am having existential crises over being the sort of person who can be blown off or forgotten without warning or explanation, because for your own future reference: there are few repercussions when you blow me off or forget me. Some nights, I don't get too much sleep. Some nights, I have vivid nightmares (I thought they were thanks to my going off meds, but they seem to be settling in comfortably). I live my little life of quiet desperation and take my happiness where I find it, because who knows when you're going to find it again? Like most people, I guess.

So how are you? Hanging in there?

Comments

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

"I can't seem to stop myself: following fandom wank and watching the HBP fallout. Is it just me, or is it particularly messy this time?"

It must be hard for all these folks to be completely, utterly obsessed with garnering the approval and good opinion of an author whose intentions and output they keep insisting they really, honestly despise even as they find it impossible to think about anything else in life. I'm not saying this stirs any sympathy in my heart, you understand, I'm just noting that it must be hard. (I'm also wondering how long it will be before one of them decides to cut off JKR's feet and feed them to their pet pig, but that's neither here nor there.)

"It's like this: I am quiet and sympathetic and really reserved with people I don't know well and dress pretty conservatively and am ultimately a backgroundy, forgettable sort of person, and so people tend to think I am a sweet Pollyanna of a Christian girl."

Substitute the word "Republican" for "Christian," and I. Feel. Your. Pain.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I'm also wondering how long it will be before one of them decides to cut off JKR's feet and feed them to their pet pig, but that's neither here nor there.

"You're a dirty bird, Jo."

Substitute the word "Republican" for "Christian," and I. Feel. Your. Pain.

That's one of the reasons why the Internet rocks so hard, as far as I'm concerned--I've never been hit on by the Moral Majority here.

[woodyinvincible.livejournal.com]

I always wanted to play Alice but when I borrowed it from a friend at the time it came out my computer couldn't support it, after that I don't know what the hell happened to the game. Last I heard they were supposed to be making a movie of it and it sounded like a big fat turd with Sarah Michelle Gellar as the lead.

At least falling upstairs in front of people is better than falling down stairs in front of them, that could be more disastrous and would almost certainly hurt more.

HAHAHAhahahaAHaHAhAHAA ICON

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I read about the movie when I was looking for info about the game--it really does look like it's going to suck ass. Plus I hate Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Do you have a different computer now? Are you still interested in a copy? I could burn one for you, when I get mine.

Re: HAHAHAhahahaAHaHAhAHAA ICON

[woodyinvincible.livejournal.com]

Sure I'll take a copy of it, I have a new computer so I'm sure it'll work.

Re: HAHAHAhahahaAHaHAhAHAA ICON

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I'll remember to make one. Or I'll try, anyway--if it looks like I forgot, remind me!

[jossish.livejournal.com]

I am sharing your existential crises, which isn't much help for you or me, I guess, except for knowing we're not alone. *hangs in there*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight*

It does help. And I would hang out with you, if we were closer. I STILL HAVE YOUR PACKAGE BUT ONE DAY I WILL MAIL IT. :/ :/

[sunkentreasure.livejournal.com]

Speaking of packages that should have been sent, don't I owe you some Andrew Bird or something? I think I do...

Lots of love to you. Love also to Flan.

Sleep well tonight. And sweet dreams.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, I have the Andrew Bird redownloaded again, so unless you want to surprise me, there's no need to worry about sending anything.

And love to you! Have a terrific weekend. :*

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

Take a page out of my book and just pretend like they are holiday presents! Then you can feel virtuous, as if you sent them months early! :D

Also, >:O who would blow you off without warning or explanation? I do not find you at all forgettable, and at the very least, there should be a steep fine for such behavior.

And finally, full_fathom_five or takingthefifth?!!?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, everything lately has been making me feel that way because I am crazy. But there is a specific instance in mind: a RL friend who's notorious in our set for blowing off girls if there's a chance for her to spend time with a boy instead. She's done this so many times to me, without actually telling me our plans were off, that I ought not even be surprised. But I always am--which of course is my fault.

Oh, fuck her, anyway. I like takingthefifth! Are you going to set it up?

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

BARF AND WTF. :| You, of all people, deserve better than that.

PS takingthefifth!!!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Joined! How do you think we should go about letting people know about it?

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

Um , F_W is one of my guilty pleasures. I've been afraid to mention this because I thought you despised it after the intelliwank! I haven't had time to look at it in the last week but I'm glad to hear the post-HBP fallout has been so massively entertaining. I thought it might be even while I was reading the book. I must catch up soon.

Being asked out by, as per usual, people who would not have the slightest bit of interest in me if they knew me better. If they don't get *more* interested the more they discover about you, they must be very sad losers.

I think you should get The Sims. I play it - it's the only computer game I own. I like constructing long storylines for my little households. You do have to get the hang of sending them to the loo at the right time before anything else though.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is out here next week. The trailer, which I've seen twice, looks fab. And now you've recc'ed it I'm looking forward to it ten times more.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, I did despise the intelliwank. I hated it, and I still kind of do, because I think it's idiotic that so much vitriol got expended for so stupid a reason. But also, you know, I was clinically depressed and still needed my happy pills, and now that I've regained my senses of humor and perspective, it doesn't bother me nearly so much.

I still don't like it when they get particularly vicious or personal. But that's just because I don't like viciousness in general. Most of the HP wank I've seen so far has been pretty harmless, but I guess YMMV. I mean, the H/HR shippers probably aren't thinking this.

:::

Charlie and the Chocolate factory! This is possibly Johnny Depp's craziest role ever--and that's saying something--and I didn't think I was going to like his Wonka but really, really did.

Between him and Tim Burton, they managed to keep the bitchiness of the books splendidly intact.

:::

I used to have an older version of The Sims, but gave it away when I moved because I was giving away my Windows 98 computer and the version I had wasn't compatible with the Windows XP on my laptop. But! I see that they have a magic expansion pack, and I am a little embarrassed to admit how much this thrills me. Imagine! Making up an HP community! That can do magic! *_*

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

I thought the Intelliwank was way over the top too. But on the whole F_W just mocks the idiots who take themselves and fandom *far* too seriously. Every now and then I pop over there for a laugh.

Here's the HP Sims link I've been saving up for when I buy Makin' Magic:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ophidiae/6156.html

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh cool! Nym posted a really helpful link post years ago, way before the Makin' Magic pack came out, but a lot of the links are broken now, so this will come in handy.

I guess what I will have to do now is go out and buy that copy of The Sims after all. Damn you, Dahlia. (Also ♥)