(12) giving the dog food that he's not really sure is actually food

I sometimes think it would be really excellent to be allowed to behave in public the way kids behave in public. I don't mean tantrums, specifically, though wouldn't it be amaaazing to be able scream until you couldn't breathe any more when the waitress got your food order wrong? Anyway, not that so much as things like walking through the shoe department dancing to the music in your head. Or turning around in your seat to stare unwaveringly (for absolutely no reason) at the guy sitting behind you on the plane. For three hours.

It would be excellent, trust me, because I have considered this, to be honest, more often than sometimes. But excellent as it would be, I think I'd trade that superpower for the right to eat new foods the way my dog eats, for example, an olive when it drops on the floor. He picks it up in his mouth and drops it again, licks at it tentatively a couple of times, picks it up and gnaws it, drops it again, pushes it a little with his nose, and finally picks it up again and chews it slowly with what I can only describe as a skeptical look on his face. You can practically see him thinking okay, yeah, I think this is food, and plus I think it may actually be kind of good food, but I am not really sure. It takes some visible effort to get there, is all.

Yeah, that woulda come in handy the first time I tried saag paneer.