top five reasons to hate my boss

1. HE IS SITTING ON BONUS CHECKS AND HAS BEEN FOR A WEEK BECAUSE HE CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO TAKE THE TIME TO SIT DOWN FOR FIVE MINUTES AND SIGN THEM. OMG I WANT MY MONEY. IT IS BLOOD MONEY. I FUCKING EARNED IT.



2. He can't finish anything. Ever. Someone in the office is constantly having to tidy up the messes he makes and then wanders off because he gets bored with them.



3. His sense of entitlement is so outrageously overweening that he doesn't even recognize he has it -- it's a motherfucking autonomic function, with him. It's how he manages to never finish anything, in fact -- he just knows that someone will come behind him and do what needs to be done, in the same way that I know my eyes go on blinking even when I'm not thinking about them.



4. He has all these little rules that only he can break. As in, no one's allowed to eat hot food downstairs when he's there because he can't stand the smell of other people's food, but he's totally allowed to eat whatever he wants.



5. He is completely helpless without his extensive, enabling support system. Of which we are all, however reluctantly, a part.

Aaaaaand tune in tomorrow, when I'll reveal my top five reasons to love him. There are some; don't mind me, I'm just bitter about the bonus checks.