top five reasons to hate my boss

[constance]

1. HE IS SITTING ON BONUS CHECKS AND HAS BEEN FOR A WEEK BECAUSE HE CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO TAKE THE TIME TO SIT DOWN FOR FIVE MINUTES AND SIGN THEM. OMG I WANT MY MONEY. IT IS BLOOD MONEY. I FUCKING EARNED IT.



2. He can't finish anything. Ever. Someone in the office is constantly having to tidy up the messes he makes and then wanders off because he gets bored with them.



3. His sense of entitlement is so outrageously overweening that he doesn't even recognize he has it -- it's a motherfucking autonomic function, with him. It's how he manages to never finish anything, in fact -- he just knows that someone will come behind him and do what needs to be done, in the same way that I know my eyes go on blinking even when I'm not thinking about them.



4. He has all these little rules that only he can break. As in, no one's allowed to eat hot food downstairs when he's there because he can't stand the smell of other people's food, but he's totally allowed to eat whatever he wants.



5. He is completely helpless without his extensive, enabling support system. Of which we are all, however reluctantly, a part.

Aaaaaand tune in tomorrow, when I'll reveal my top five reasons to love him. There are some; don't mind me, I'm just bitter about the bonus checks.

Comments

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

I hate my current boss pretty much all around, and my former boss for consigning me to her. But today, she has just announced that she is pregnant (actually what she said was "with child" -- eww). That basically means I'll be in charge all summer long. Wa-hoo!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oooh, how nice! I know she's been a thorn in your side from just about the beginning. I hope you have a fabulous summer without her! :D

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

How many people know that bonus checks are on the verge of being distributed? I can easily imagine you squashing your frustration for a week, but I think once word spread, people would be after him with pitchforks and torches.

But YAY BONUS CHECKS. Whenever they arrive. Maybe he thinks the uncertainty makes them feel more, you know, bonus-y.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Now, see, if this were the VP (my hero) I were talking about, I'd say, sure, he'd like to hit us with a little ceremony. But it's not, and I know for a fact that the checks are in his desk drawer, just sitting there, and he's leaving tomorrow for a two-day trip to Washington to schmooze with Senators. *still bitter*

I was the first to know about the bonuses, since I write the checks, but everyone else knows too, now, because whenever we get bonuses we have to specify how we want to defer 401(k). It's just, you know, that this sort of thing happens all the goddamned time, at my company, and so we all know what to expect. So we'll just seethe quietly and bitch about him in the breakroom until he decides to buckle down, is all.

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

I would be bitter, too!!!

I hope your boss has charm; he needs it.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Well, he does have charm, but sometimes I'm not sure whether we'd all be better off if he didn't.

Hey, how was your trip??

[dahlia-777.livejournal.com]

No one's allowed to eat hot food downstairs when he's there because he can't stand the smell of other people's food, but he's totally allowed to eat whatever he wants. WHAT! That is unbelievably selfish. I mean, the bonus checks, that's frustrating but just makes him sound mildly incompetent. Bizarre food rules that apply to everyone except him, though... woah. Is he all there?