Dream Country

I took a Benadryl last night and those things, for me taking them is like getting a temporary 12-hour Dementor's kiss. I mean, I'm not only useless for hours afterwards, but also not even really conscious in any accepted sense of the word. So I fell asleep before I had the chance to write about yesterday morning when I woke up.

I don't know if you ever wake up this way: it feels as if you're just coming out of a dream, and you are completely convinced that in your dream, or at the back of your mind (I guess it amounts to the same thing, though, really), you've just realized something profoundly important about your life, or about life in general, something sure to make a huge difference in the way that you live your life from this moment forward. But the thing is that you can't remember it; it's just out of reach and every time you try to get hold of it, it slips away. You're like Tantalus reaching over his head, waist deep in water he can't drink and won't ever be able to drink.

Well, here's the thing, though. Yesterday morning, I woke up with that revelatory feeling, and after a little poking around in the old subconscious (not to make you jealous or anything, but) I actually remembered the revelation I'd just experienced! Further, because I am a generous person, I will now share it with you:

We need more glitter coffee.

:::

By contrast, this morning when I woke up, I just felt seriously hung over. Thanks, Benadryl.

:::

Here is how I know I have settled into my new job: my boss has a nickname for me according to how I deal with stress. Everyone in the department has one of these nicknames, and they're all based on natural phenomena; there's Ice Age, for example, and Hurricane S, and Old Faithful, and Wildfire. I am San Andreas, after the faultline, because for ages everything is all calm on the surface, and you don't know anything's coming until the ground starts rumbling underneath you and all of a sudden the building's crumbling and then it's all over and you're left standing in ruins.

This is actually embarrassingly accurate. My boss says, of my attempts to convey my utter frustration over what constititutes a Section 32 loan, that she could practically hear the tectonic plates shifting. To this I say, well, at least the building's still standing. It wouldn't be the first time I took out a building in a fit of temper, you know.

I think this officially counts as spam.

A little link roundup for you. And also me.

1. A little something for the Eminem fans on my flist



2. Someday, you must remind me to tell you of my eye-opening very first trip to Big Lots, where much useful stuff was bought in Extra-Big American Bulk Packages, and also something not very useful but much desired in the form of a metal box containing 56 gel pens. I am planning a scanned and decorated post showcasing this particular purchase (as opposed to, say, the Drano, which though useful does not scan as well), but that will wait. (And it is not a link, but oh well.)



3. Have you ever wondered where you might buy wax lips and Pez dispensers and candy cigarettes in bulk? Look no further.
   
   
4. Tonight I was poking around the Internet, as one does on Friday nights when one is I, and I accidentally stumbled across THE CREEPIEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME AAAAAH IT IS WORSE THAN A CRONENBERG FILM (Warning: do not click that link if you are not in the mood to be most seriously disturbed). In an effort to bleach my brain, I've been hunting down some old favorites:
   
   
   Strindberg and Helium
   
   Kunstbar
   
   Bothering Snape
   
   Craziest
   
   Diversity
   
   Field Guide to Snapping
   
   And they are all much beloved, but I wonder, are they quite enough to erase the damaging effects of Rubber Johnny? I don't know, I just don't.
   
   So I am wondering if there are any little video clips or flash movies or such like that you feel like sharing. NOTHING CREEPY, IF YOU PLEASE! Because I am already going to have nightmares.