and tomorrow, today will be yesterday, oh
Dec. 31st, 2009 02:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
constanceHi and everything! I've been offline since before Christmas, and I am getting ready to plunge back into the livejournal swim (prepare yourself for belated comments!), but before I do, allow me to dip my toes in and test the waters with that year-end meme that makes the rounds every year about now.
Did you have a good 2009 and why?
Yes, I did. My worries for my odd-numbered summers, which for the past decade or so have resulted in multiple deaths and/or violent upheavals, never actually came to pass, and seriously, that's all it takes during an odd-numbered year. YAY FOR NO FUNERALS TO ATTEND. YAY FOR NOT BEING ARRESTED.
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, I did! The reason why this was so exciting is that I hardly ever make New Year resolutions; but this year's -- to NOT KILL A SINGLE PLANT -- was such a resounding success (and such a money-saver) that I may make another resolution this year. I haven't decided yet. I need to get on that, I guess. Only hours left!
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nnnoo. Not that I can recall, anyway, which means no. Well, a couple of coworkers' wives, but I wouldn't say we're close.
(A conversation with one of them, whose baby was born Tuesday, and who brought pictures in this morning, for your edification:
Me: Ten pounds? Wow!
Father: I know! He was supposed to be due mid-January, but if we'd left him any later, he'd be going to kindergarten now. I mean, he looks five months old here, but he was only about five minutes old!
J: He's still naked! They're X-rated pictures!
Me: God, J, what kind of porn are you into?)
Did anyone close to you die?
My parents' lovely, gentle greyhound is the closest. I do miss him.
What cities did you visit?
Outside of a general 50-mile radius? St. Simons Island, Savannah, New York, Atlanta, Dallas. I think that's it; I stayed pretty close to home this year.
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A financial cushion, maybe, for emergency use? I didn't actually lack much in 2009, if we're being honest. My life, though frugally maintained, is mostly quite comfortable.
What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Tuesday, January 20!!!!1! My excitement has dimmed -- I knew it would, as it was confronted with the reality of an administration struggling to compromise without yielding its primary goals -- but that was a banner fucking day, my friends. I spent the whole day in a choked-up, hopeful place that I haven't seen in a long, long time.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Yanking my company back online after a major server crash. The crash occurred in very late 2008, but the majority of the yanking was done after the first of the year. It was HARD, people, and required several 80-hour weeks in a row, but it happened reasonably smoothly, and since that incident propelled me from [an employee whose IT decisions were constantly second-guessed by a couple of coworkers who dabble in technology] to [someone whose opinions and abilities are respected and sought after by everyone in the company], I consider it a total rout, friends. And it only took me two years to earn their trust! Yeah, gotta work on that assertiveness.
Also, I got in touch with this guy. We are working our way back to being friends again, but slowly, and that's my fault, because I am a freak (see next question), but I did walk across that burning bridge, and hey, we both survived.
What was your biggest failure?
You know, I keep thinking, if everyone else can get out/make friends/date/talk to strangers/stay in touch/get back in touch without fucking freaking out about having to do it, I should be able to do it too! Except that this year I did not. I squandered every opportunity I had in that direction but one, and I'm not even doing so hot on that one. I'm heartily ashamed of myself for it, but I can't seem to stop myself from getting overwhelmed. Every. Single. Time.
I sometimes (often) think it's way past time for me to invest in some kick-ass social anxiety meds. But then I think, Cammy! Suck it up and JUST CALL YOUR OLD FRIEND WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T THINK YOU ARE A TOTAL DRAG AND MIGHT EVEN BE HAPPY TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. Everyone else can do it! You can too if you put your mind to it! And then I don't, and the cycle continues.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, I had a cold a few weeks ago. And I had what I thought was some kind of RSI in my thumb and wrist, but it turned out that they were aching because I've developed an unconscious habit of sitting on my left hand when my hands get cold, which oops. A bout of poison ivy (ably treated byimkalena, whose giant box of jewelweed was an unequivocal lifesaver). Various insect bites. And I think that's it; I am ridiculously healthy almost all the time.
What was the best thing you bought?
A new MP3/video player! I've named it Archy, for the brand but also for my childhood faves Archy and Mehitabel, and it is pretty and stylish and highly serviceable. I love my bicycle, too, which is a coaster, red and basketed and perfectly, perfectly charming.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
I find that most people are worth celebrating: infinitely interesting and resourceful and miraculous. That's kind of a pat answer, I suppose, but it's true; for all my shying away from people, I am also fascinated by them.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This one is stupid, but here goes. There are a couple of people on my facebook page, and as long as they don't discuss politics I like them very much indeed, but the second they start to post their supershort reactionary xenophobic Charlie-Daniels-esque screeds, I want to get in a car and drive to where they are so I can beat them up. And I keep thinking as I read their posts, how can I feel confidence in my country when so many of its inhabitants feel this way?
Where did most of your money go?
I spend most of my money on Bachelor No. 2, and have since we first committed to each other. Bachelor No. 2 is quite expensive to keep, as kept men go, but so far he's pretty much been worth the horrifying expense.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Inauguration Day. My trip to New York, and meeting up with so many of my dearly beloved. The season premiere of Supernatural, because I am a silly fangirl, and my show-talks withdahlia_777, because she is marvelous. My vintage globe (I got it for Christmas ♥).
What song will always remind you of 2009?
The Mountain Goats - "Psalms 40:2"
Grizzly Bear - "Two Weeks"
The Dirty Projectors and David Byrne - "Knotty Pine"
Radiohead - "15 Steps"
TV on the Radio - "Golden Age"
Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier about some things. Sadder about others.
b) thinner or fatter? A little fatter, but I'm working on that. Again.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, but only because I think I've finally gotten the hang of living on a budget.
For this question, I feel as though I am sitting in my oculist's chair, deciding which lens works better for me; I am notoriously bad at this. "I don't know, could I see the first again?" "Again?" "Again?" Neither my life nor my attitudes have changed much over the past year, which is satisfying as regards to Life in General, but it makes for kind of a boring meme.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reached out. Worked out.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eaten out. Lashed out.
How did you spend Christmas?
With my family, in Dallas. It's hectic enough that it makes me anxious and overbalanced nearly every minute I'm there, but strangely, I adore being there. I miss my brother, love seeing my niece and S-I-L.
Did you fall in love in 2009?
Nope. Friendslist, have you ever known me to fall in love, in the way that phrase is intended? I have, however, found new people to love in the way that I do love people, and that's always splendid.
How many one-night stands?
Hahahahaha nary a one. It's been years since my last one-night stand.
What was your favorite TV program?
Supernatural, which is technically not as good as Mad Men, my second-favorite, and which as you may know is making me cranky this season, but I'm all in, and have been for a long time, which means that SPN is the top-favorite for now and will likely be as long as it's on air. And probably will be beyond its end, as well.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
The answer to this is almost always no. I don't hate well.
What was the best book you read?
I'm also bad at playing the favorites game, but this year two favorites sprang immediately to mind: Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, and Scarlett Thomas's The End of Mr. Y. I've read better books this year, but I liked these the best, and so these are the ones I'm sticking to.
How do you think you have changed this year?
I'm growing less flexible, I'm pretty sure. More guarded. These are not changes for the good, for me. I'm going to work on regaining the ground I've lost.
What did you want and get?
A non-leaking roof, finally, finally, finally. Maybe.
What did you want and not get?
A trip to London. I came so close, more than once! But 2009 was just not a good year for it. The timing was singularly crappy: the money was there and then it wasn't; there were passport issues; the friend I was to visit had her own difficulties to deal with. This year, though, I have high hopes. This year, I'm pretty sure it's gonna happen. I hope it does; I can't wait to explore London with someone who both knows the city and knows me.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Up, I think. Thinking back on 2009, I saw surprisingly few films. Maybe my next New Year's resolution should be about seeing a new movie every week.
What did you do on your birthday?
On my birthday proper, I don't really remember -- I think nothing in particular? Except my coworkers sprang for apple fritters instead of a birthday cake, which GOOD CALL THERE, COWORKERS. But the day after my birthday, I flew to New York, first class, for five days, saw several dearly-beloved friends, did lots and lots of things. It was my birthday present. It was an amazing birthday present.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I think this has been covered elsewhere, hasn't it? But I'd have been happier to maintain all the weight I'd lost and muscle tone I'd gained. I did not, because I got lazy.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Same as always. Casual, comfortable, nondescript.
What kept you sane?
I'm not entirely sure that I remained sane. How do you tell?
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't really do the celebrity thing much. When I crush, I tend to crush on characters and not people. That said, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Jon Stewart are perennial favorites, and I still have hopes for Barrack Obama, floundering though he may be right now.
Who was the best new person you met?
Oh, God. Did I meet anyone new in 2009 that didn't have to do with the internet? I don't think I did, which is unequivocally pathetic, I know. But. I've knownsomniesperus for years online, and meeting her in person was as thrillingly awesome as I'd hoped it would be. There were omelets that morning, too, and omelets make great things even better.
What was one good quality you thought you possessed in 2009?
I've long possessed the ability to turn any place I visit into a sweltering semi-tropical hellhole, but this year was the year I saw it turn around! Now every place I visit is guaranteed to be misty, grey, and chilly, if not outright cold, from the time I set my dainty, Doc-shod foot on it until the time I step off again. I count this as a win, believe it or not.
What was one bad quality you thought you possessed in 2009?
I backed away too reflexively, made myself too unavailable, loved too often from afar and not nearly often enough from up close. I think that's one thing.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Note the subway direction as well as the line before you step on.
What do you look forward to in 2010?
A trip to London! Bachelor No. 2's 100th birthday! Starting interior renovations! The rest of Season Five! The ground drying up so I can RAKE MY FUCKING YARD!
Any big plans for 2010?
Again, this has been covered elsewhere, but: Yes, lots of things. And since I possess a special love for the planning process itself, I'll be happy making plans even if my plans never actually lead anywhere.
Did you have a good 2009 and why?
Yes, I did. My worries for my odd-numbered summers, which for the past decade or so have resulted in multiple deaths and/or violent upheavals, never actually came to pass, and seriously, that's all it takes during an odd-numbered year. YAY FOR NO FUNERALS TO ATTEND. YAY FOR NOT BEING ARRESTED.
Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, I did! The reason why this was so exciting is that I hardly ever make New Year resolutions; but this year's -- to NOT KILL A SINGLE PLANT -- was such a resounding success (and such a money-saver) that I may make another resolution this year. I haven't decided yet. I need to get on that, I guess. Only hours left!
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nnnoo. Not that I can recall, anyway, which means no. Well, a couple of coworkers' wives, but I wouldn't say we're close.
(A conversation with one of them, whose baby was born Tuesday, and who brought pictures in this morning, for your edification:
Me: Ten pounds? Wow!
Father: I know! He was supposed to be due mid-January, but if we'd left him any later, he'd be going to kindergarten now. I mean, he looks five months old here, but he was only about five minutes old!
J: He's still naked! They're X-rated pictures!
Me: God, J, what kind of porn are you into?)
Did anyone close to you die?
My parents' lovely, gentle greyhound is the closest. I do miss him.
What cities did you visit?
Outside of a general 50-mile radius? St. Simons Island, Savannah, New York, Atlanta, Dallas. I think that's it; I stayed pretty close to home this year.
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A financial cushion, maybe, for emergency use? I didn't actually lack much in 2009, if we're being honest. My life, though frugally maintained, is mostly quite comfortable.
What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Tuesday, January 20!!!!1! My excitement has dimmed -- I knew it would, as it was confronted with the reality of an administration struggling to compromise without yielding its primary goals -- but that was a banner fucking day, my friends. I spent the whole day in a choked-up, hopeful place that I haven't seen in a long, long time.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Yanking my company back online after a major server crash. The crash occurred in very late 2008, but the majority of the yanking was done after the first of the year. It was HARD, people, and required several 80-hour weeks in a row, but it happened reasonably smoothly, and since that incident propelled me from [an employee whose IT decisions were constantly second-guessed by a couple of coworkers who dabble in technology] to [someone whose opinions and abilities are respected and sought after by everyone in the company], I consider it a total rout, friends. And it only took me two years to earn their trust! Yeah, gotta work on that assertiveness.
Also, I got in touch with this guy. We are working our way back to being friends again, but slowly, and that's my fault, because I am a freak (see next question), but I did walk across that burning bridge, and hey, we both survived.
What was your biggest failure?
You know, I keep thinking, if everyone else can get out/make friends/date/talk to strangers/stay in touch/get back in touch without fucking freaking out about having to do it, I should be able to do it too! Except that this year I did not. I squandered every opportunity I had in that direction but one, and I'm not even doing so hot on that one. I'm heartily ashamed of myself for it, but I can't seem to stop myself from getting overwhelmed. Every. Single. Time.
I sometimes (often) think it's way past time for me to invest in some kick-ass social anxiety meds. But then I think, Cammy! Suck it up and JUST CALL YOUR OLD FRIEND WHO PROBABLY DOESN'T THINK YOU ARE A TOTAL DRAG AND MIGHT EVEN BE HAPPY TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. Everyone else can do it! You can too if you put your mind to it! And then I don't, and the cycle continues.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, I had a cold a few weeks ago. And I had what I thought was some kind of RSI in my thumb and wrist, but it turned out that they were aching because I've developed an unconscious habit of sitting on my left hand when my hands get cold, which oops. A bout of poison ivy (ably treated by
imkalena, whose giant box of jewelweed was an unequivocal lifesaver). Various insect bites. And I think that's it; I am ridiculously healthy almost all the time.What was the best thing you bought?
A new MP3/video player! I've named it Archy, for the brand but also for my childhood faves Archy and Mehitabel, and it is pretty and stylish and highly serviceable. I love my bicycle, too, which is a coaster, red and basketed and perfectly, perfectly charming.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
I find that most people are worth celebrating: infinitely interesting and resourceful and miraculous. That's kind of a pat answer, I suppose, but it's true; for all my shying away from people, I am also fascinated by them.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
This one is stupid, but here goes. There are a couple of people on my facebook page, and as long as they don't discuss politics I like them very much indeed, but the second they start to post their supershort reactionary xenophobic Charlie-Daniels-esque screeds, I want to get in a car and drive to where they are so I can beat them up. And I keep thinking as I read their posts, how can I feel confidence in my country when so many of its inhabitants feel this way?
Where did most of your money go?
I spend most of my money on Bachelor No. 2, and have since we first committed to each other. Bachelor No. 2 is quite expensive to keep, as kept men go, but so far he's pretty much been worth the horrifying expense.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Inauguration Day. My trip to New York, and meeting up with so many of my dearly beloved. The season premiere of Supernatural, because I am a silly fangirl, and my show-talks with
dahlia_777, because she is marvelous. My vintage globe (I got it for Christmas ♥). What song will always remind you of 2009?
The Mountain Goats - "Psalms 40:2"
Grizzly Bear - "Two Weeks"
The Dirty Projectors and David Byrne - "Knotty Pine"
Radiohead - "15 Steps"
TV on the Radio - "Golden Age"
Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier about some things. Sadder about others.
b) thinner or fatter? A little fatter, but I'm working on that. Again.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, but only because I think I've finally gotten the hang of living on a budget.
For this question, I feel as though I am sitting in my oculist's chair, deciding which lens works better for me; I am notoriously bad at this. "I don't know, could I see the first again?" "Again?" "Again?" Neither my life nor my attitudes have changed much over the past year, which is satisfying as regards to Life in General, but it makes for kind of a boring meme.
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reached out. Worked out.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eaten out. Lashed out.
How did you spend Christmas?
With my family, in Dallas. It's hectic enough that it makes me anxious and overbalanced nearly every minute I'm there, but strangely, I adore being there. I miss my brother, love seeing my niece and S-I-L.
Did you fall in love in 2009?
Nope. Friendslist, have you ever known me to fall in love, in the way that phrase is intended? I have, however, found new people to love in the way that I do love people, and that's always splendid.
How many one-night stands?
Hahahahaha nary a one. It's been years since my last one-night stand.
What was your favorite TV program?
Supernatural, which is technically not as good as Mad Men, my second-favorite, and which as you may know is making me cranky this season, but I'm all in, and have been for a long time, which means that SPN is the top-favorite for now and will likely be as long as it's on air. And probably will be beyond its end, as well.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
The answer to this is almost always no. I don't hate well.
What was the best book you read?
I'm also bad at playing the favorites game, but this year two favorites sprang immediately to mind: Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, and Scarlett Thomas's The End of Mr. Y. I've read better books this year, but I liked these the best, and so these are the ones I'm sticking to.
How do you think you have changed this year?
I'm growing less flexible, I'm pretty sure. More guarded. These are not changes for the good, for me. I'm going to work on regaining the ground I've lost.
What did you want and get?
A non-leaking roof, finally, finally, finally. Maybe.
What did you want and not get?
A trip to London. I came so close, more than once! But 2009 was just not a good year for it. The timing was singularly crappy: the money was there and then it wasn't; there were passport issues; the friend I was to visit had her own difficulties to deal with. This year, though, I have high hopes. This year, I'm pretty sure it's gonna happen. I hope it does; I can't wait to explore London with someone who both knows the city and knows me.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Up, I think. Thinking back on 2009, I saw surprisingly few films. Maybe my next New Year's resolution should be about seeing a new movie every week.
What did you do on your birthday?
On my birthday proper, I don't really remember -- I think nothing in particular? Except my coworkers sprang for apple fritters instead of a birthday cake, which GOOD CALL THERE, COWORKERS. But the day after my birthday, I flew to New York, first class, for five days, saw several dearly-beloved friends, did lots and lots of things. It was my birthday present. It was an amazing birthday present.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I think this has been covered elsewhere, hasn't it? But I'd have been happier to maintain all the weight I'd lost and muscle tone I'd gained. I did not, because I got lazy.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Same as always. Casual, comfortable, nondescript.
What kept you sane?
I'm not entirely sure that I remained sane. How do you tell?
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't really do the celebrity thing much. When I crush, I tend to crush on characters and not people. That said, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Jon Stewart are perennial favorites, and I still have hopes for Barrack Obama, floundering though he may be right now.
Who was the best new person you met?
Oh, God. Did I meet anyone new in 2009 that didn't have to do with the internet? I don't think I did, which is unequivocally pathetic, I know. But. I've known
somniesperus for years online, and meeting her in person was as thrillingly awesome as I'd hoped it would be. There were omelets that morning, too, and omelets make great things even better.What was one good quality you thought you possessed in 2009?
I've long possessed the ability to turn any place I visit into a sweltering semi-tropical hellhole, but this year was the year I saw it turn around! Now every place I visit is guaranteed to be misty, grey, and chilly, if not outright cold, from the time I set my dainty, Doc-shod foot on it until the time I step off again. I count this as a win, believe it or not.
What was one bad quality you thought you possessed in 2009?
I backed away too reflexively, made myself too unavailable, loved too often from afar and not nearly often enough from up close. I think that's one thing.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Note the subway direction as well as the line before you step on.
What do you look forward to in 2010?
A trip to London! Bachelor No. 2's 100th birthday! Starting interior renovations! The rest of Season Five! The ground drying up so I can RAKE MY FUCKING YARD!
Any big plans for 2010?
Again, this has been covered elsewhere, but: Yes, lots of things. And since I possess a special love for the planning process itself, I'll be happy making plans even if my plans never actually lead anywhere.
