Seesaw Days

[constance]

Miss B update:

Success: I did get in touch with a proper agency. Thank God. It was not the agency I tried for a week to contact, of course, but still.

Failure: In the process, I called at six other numbers given to me by my mother's volunteer friends which were out-of-service or just rang unanswered or were the wrong sort of service, though potentially handy (such as the one that helps subsidize and arrange health care for low-income households). I finally ended up with one that worked through the United Way's recommendations, so

Success: THANK YOU UNITED WAY YOU ARE WORTH THE WEEKLY PAYROLL DEDUCTION.

Failure: When I talked to the agency and gave them Miss B's name, the woman admitted they'd dealt with Miss B before, and that she was highly resistant to outsider interference. She asked if Miss B. trusted me. I said, "not any more, she won't." The woman agreed that this was probably the case, but said they'd get a counselor to the hospital to talk to her. I am hoping that her time in the hospital's been a wake-up-call for her, and that she's a little more receptive this time round. Normally, I am consumed with anxiety when I think people are angry with me or dislike me (which to be perfectly honest is most of the time, with everyone), but I think I can live with her resentment, if it means that someone qualified is making sure she's taken care of.

My mother even suggested kindly blackmail as regards the return of Sweetie to her tender mercy. As in, "I can't in good conscience give her back unless you can provide a healthy home for her, Miss B, though I will keep her for you and you can visit her whenever you like." I'm not sure I'm capable of this sort of heartless badassery, but if it's in me at all, it's in me to protect mistreated pets, so. I'm going to take a deep breath and try.



Sweetie update:

Success: She adores the fruit, and likes to take it in her claws and nibble from it, which is fascinating to watch. Cantaloupe seems to be the favorite so far. Though really, I've only tried apple, pear, and cantaloupe, so possibly I need a wider test base.

Failure: Vegetables. No squash, no lettuce. "What is this you're feeding me?" she seems to say when I hand over a strip of foulest crookneck. "It's not food at all, is it?" Which, funnily, is Leory's exact reaction.

Success: She lets me touch her! :O I can stroke her head or back lightly with a fingertip, and she leans into it. When she's had enough, she nips me lightly and steps away, and it's all working out pretty well.

Failure: OMG shower from spray bottle. Honestly, you'd have thought I was torturing her, the way she screamed and fluttered around the cage. I decided to quit before I gave her a heart attack, but I think I'll try again every day or two in hopes that she'll get used to it and maybe even come to enjoy it. (I also intend to do this with the veggies. Today's offering: a thawed black-eyed pea or two. Hey, I'll even tell her the story of the black-eyed pea. It's how my brother and I learned to love them, after all.)

Comments

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

Success! (Despite the results of the call, the call is still a success, because you did what you set out to do).

Perhaps try Sweetie on more melons? Not that I have the foggiest notion about either birds or fruit, mind, but watermelon?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I thought about watermelon, after I saw her enthusiasm over the cantaloupe. I think I'll try that one out next (i.e., after I get paid and have a fresh food budget to draw from).

Mmmm, watermelon. Sweetie will be lucky if I decide to share.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

I'm really glad of these updates. What you're doing is brave.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I feel brave! I mean, I know I'm a coward, really, but just stepping up is sort of a positive step for me. :D

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Sweetie's in good hands. :-)

The United Way is amazing, isn't it?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

God, it really is. I knew lots of people from back home who wouldn't have made it through Katrina without various UW services, but this is my first firsthand experience of them, aside from blood donations. I have to say that their effieciency, after all that wheel-spinning, was mighty impressive.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

I love imagining you with this bird. You're such a natural with animals that it's kind of a shame that you don't work with them for a living.

I'v found that some birds who hate the spray bath like it's some form of torture often enjoy inching down your wrist to sort of bathe themselves in a very low trickle from the sink tap. They don't actually stand in the stream, but sort of stick their heads in and throw it over themselves, and then flutter and preen. When/if she gets used to being handled by you, it's worth a try. That said, baths don't seem to be crucial, or else my dad's water-phobic African Grey would have perished decades ago.

The rest of Daddy's advice: those movements she was making WERE from stress, and no, she sounds perfectly healthy and you shouldn't have to take her to the vet. But you probably already figured that out.

"a strip of foulest crookneck" gave me my guffaw for the morning.

I applaud your persistence on Miss B's case, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the badassery. I think it's an excellent strategy! And hurray, United Way!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm too much of a softy when it comes to animals to be a professional. No disciplinary skills, way too prone to becoming emotionally involved. I'm better off as an enthusiastic layperson, I think.

Oooh, I like the idea of the trickle. Someone from work who's kept cockatiels in the past said I might also try making an impromptu birdbath in the sink and letting her try splashing around in that. I am really taken with this idea of water-play, so I hope she gets used to me and the idea of getting wet quickly!

I'm glad she was just rocking on account of the stress -- not only because I'm pleased that there's not some weird neurological disorder to worry about, but also because since she's not doing it so much now it (I hope) means that she's a little more comfortable.

Please thank your father for me! And keep some of those thanks for yourself, for being so patient! I have to stay on your good sides, you know, in case I have more questions. :D

[wishwords.livejournal.com]

What about carrots or cucumbers? I don't know if those are on bird food lists. Nuts? She should like nuts.

Sorry she reacted so badly to the shower. How, weird...

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Everyone I've talked to has told me that parrots love playing in water. I suspect Sweetie's difficulties come from never having played in it before -- Miss B didn't have working plumbing, it seems, for at least part of her tenancy in the house next door, so she'd likely have been very sparing with the liquids. I think the idea of letting them splash around is a wonderful one, though, so I'm going to see if I can't bring her round to the idea gradually.

She likes peanuts well enough, but your comment reminded me that I have a metric buttload of pecans in the freezer, and I can't find anything that tells me not to feed them pecans, I think I'll give them a shot too.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, tell us the story of the black-eyed pea! As many of them as I've eaten in my life, I've never heard any story.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

It's a story by the brothers Grimm -- "Straw, Coal, and Bean (http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm018.html)," though I didn't realize it for years. My grandmother told it first to us, and we could only ever convince her to tell it when we were sitting down to black-eyed peas, and only as long as we would eat them. She told the story with much elaboration, talked about conversations they had, talked about adventures they had on the road -- also, they all had the most pronounced Southern accents -- and timed it so that she finished when we did. Looking back, I can see what a remarkable feat it all was, but it was commonplace for us, and I can't eat black-eyed peas to this day without thinking of dinners at my grandmother's.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, how cool! It makes me smile to think of that. (And black-eyed peas take a long time to cook, too; she must have made quite a story of it.)

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Sorry for egregious misapplication of punctuation.

[emily-spinach.livejournal.com]

That lucky bird! Little does she know that, far from a torture chamber, she has landed in the hands of the best animal person in the world.

Best of luck with this crisis--I think you're incredible.

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

the best animal person in the world

She really is. Somehow animals in distress just seem to find their way naturally into her arms. And people in distress, too, for which I am continually grateful.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Awww. It is only because I am so ridiculously softheaded, you know.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Only it is also easy for me to fold my arms around the people and animals I love.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

:O Thanks, and thanks for the luck. :/ The parrot's gone now -- the breeders came and picked her up last night at Miss B's request -- and since it was the one part of this business that was giving me any pleasure, I'm regretting her loss kind of fiercely. :( Oh well. At least I know she'll be safe now.

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

I forsee much parrot-related tragicomedy in days to come. :|

It's not fun, anticipating resentment as repayment for a well-intentioned deed; it's especially stressful if you're already prone to paranoia and insecurity. If it helps at all, I don't seem to be alone in feeling that you are truly acting in the best interests of this woman and her pet. And knowing you as I do, nothing here smacks of presumption or bullying (or whatever you worry Miss B might suspect you of). On the contrary (a phrase I will never again type without thinking of Keri), you are acting with more respect for Miss B's pride and autonomy than most people would in your situation. I am very proud of you.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Actually, no more parrot-related stories for now; the breeders Miss B bought her from came and picked Sweetie up last night. I am a little sad about this, but I know it's for the best.

I do worry about presumption or bullying, but so far everything's being done at such a removal that I'm not feeling it too strongly. I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :/

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

Also I find this icon very funny and apt, now. I officially name the bird in it "Sweetie".

[tofty.livejournal.com]

hahaha! This just makes me happy.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

I find something comforting in the fact that your agency is already acquainted with Miss B., even if they have not had good results. Sort of, the cracks you can slip through are not so terribly wide? But I am sorry the news is not more hope-inspiring.

I am proud of you for maintaining the courage of your convictions, which are right on. I know Sweetie is grateful, especially for the fruit.

<3

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I'm not really sure whether I should be comforted or disturbed, but I don't suppose it really matters -- it's done, and they know her, and it seems as though they've got an idea of how to deal with her. I hope. :/

I am working on having the courage of my convicitions. I always knew how hard it was, and that's why I'm just getting round to it now; but all this makes my friends and acquaintances who stand up and do things like this seemingly without effort seem impressive beyond anything.

<333333333

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

Bird-napping sounds a bit dastardly, but probably effective, at least for the short term. I'm sorry to say that I don't think most people like Miss B. ever really change their spots, though. (I say this because I am effectively this way, and only barely civilized through social contact.) They can keep up the charade of orderliness for a little while when people are looking, but when some other stressor comes along, it's too difficult to control it and they spiral back down. I'm not sure there *is* a long term answer that won't feel invasive and/or coercive, honestly. Yet you are such a dear for caring about both Miss B and Sweetie.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure there *is* a long term answer that won't feel invasive and/or coercive, honestly.

I agree with you. In fact, I am worried about Miss B's resentment mostly because I don't see how she could not resent me for my interference. And I know I'm meddling; I just worry about her trapped in that house, literally and figuratively. I hope maybe one day -- or in another life -- she can forgive me.

And I know from what I've read that Miss B is not going to up and change her habits -- from what I've read about this particular compulsion, it's insidious and extremely difficult to control. All I can do is hope that we can get it under control enough that her life is not actively in danger (as I, in all seriousness, believe it is).

Thanks for this perspective, you. You've said some very important things here, things I ought to keep in mind through this. *hugs*

[lindyhoppr.livejournal.com]

Congrats on all the sucesses! I had (well, my college roommate had) two birds; one loved being sprayed with the water bottle, the other HATED it. I actually don't think that "hated" is a strong enough word. But, he loved a bird bath we made out of a bowl.

every bird is different, I guess.

I second that you need to post the black eyed pea story.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

It does make sense that birds are different, especially having witnessed Sweetie's very pronounced personality! I'm sorry I won't have the chance to experiment more with the water, among other sorrinesses.

The Black-Eyed Pea story isn't anything new; it's the brothers Grimm's "Straw, Coal, and Bean (http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm018.html)" adapted for specific use! A story told only at certain times builds up a mystique that's impossible to resist or forget. My brother and I both owe our fondness for black-eyed peas to this story and my grandmothers retellings.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

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