constance | Bullet Points for Fun and Profit

Here's a thing I learned just this week on life's rocky road: folks, you haven't lived until you get home after an afternoon of running errands to discover that the trash bag you left sitting by the door so you WOULD NOT forget to take it out as you left -- the one full of the ambitious refrigerator cleanout, full of curdled milk and chicken bones and something unidentifiable that you suspect might have been left over from thanksgiving but you really don't want to think too hard about it, that trash bag -- was left sitting by the door after all but is now spread all over the house and furniture, that part not actually ingested by the not-even-remotely-sorry-looking dogs. They are not sorry even though they spend the next day afflicted by intestinal distress, because what is cause and effect to a dog? Ah, but now, now I have lived. Now I can die having experienced the richest life has to offer. -_-

It's taken me months to concede that the fabulous basket I envisioned hanging on my door to catch the mail before it became -- wait for it -- eaten by my dogs, that basket does not exist in a buyable form (though it does exist in stealable form, should I ever decide to throw caution to the winds in my quest for the perfectly-shaped basket). So I broke down and bought a real mailbox and hung it this weekend, and for the past two days, my mail has been totally intact. Not even a small corner nibbled off! Not even one telltale shred of paper on Leory's favorite chair! It's almost enough to make up for the fact that my house smelled like spoiled milk for a full twenty-four hours. Almost.

I saw Pan's Labyrinth yesterday, and while I admit that there were bits of it that had me cringing in my seat or covering my eyes, I was so primed to be horrified by its brutality that it never quite reached my tense expectation. Also I wasn't quite as blown away as I'd hoped I would be after reading all those ecstatic reviews. I feel badly about this, a little; though I did like it quite a lot, I wanted to love it more than I did. Don't you hate it when that happens?

I am anemic again. I'm always kind of borderline when it comes to iron levels, because I am terrible at looking after my body the way I should, but I don't want to be tired and cold all the time, and I don't want to be turned down as a blood donor, and so I have taken this as a sign that it is time, once and for all, to take a multivitamin. Regularly. Like, not just buy the bottle and look guiltily at it from time to time when I'm putting on moisturizer, but actually take it as directed.

Not too long before I hit forty, after all. I may feel look and feel ten years younger, but the truth is that my body is not going to chug forward indefinitely if I keep abusing it. And so tonight I make a promise to my long-neglected body, for all to see: Ima treat you right, body -- righter, at least -- from now on.

If only I can remember to at least take that multivitamin.

A hamburger once a week? Or are you a vegetarian?

Wow, I guess I'd rather have a strapless bra. Over the years, I've forgotten what dogs can do in their spare time!

I don't eat lots of meat, but I'm not a vegetarian. I need to up my iron intake on a couple of levels, stop with the drinking of the tea, eat foods high in vitamin C. A cheeseburger a week doesn't quite do it for me, my iron levels are low enough at all times that I really need to do this properly.

And yeah, dogs can be really destructive -- but so can cats! Man, you'd just have to take a look at some of my sofas over the years to know that.

Oh, no, what a pain! I would really hate to give up caffeine, but I suppose it can't be helped. I hope you have a taste for red sauce with meat and chili (not together :) . At least you can get a decent C value with your meat without too much planning.

*takes careful notes* :D

Bullet Point Number One: I have no words. Nothing my two children have dished up comes anywhere close to the carnage that must have been your house after the dogs' eatin' and strewin' fest. Naughty, NAUGHTY Leory! (I'm assuming he was the ringleader, anyway.) It irks me especially that they're unrepentant. Perhaps it will take a heartfelt talk along the lines of "How could you DO that to your wonderful mommy?", given by me, a complete stranger. Put 'em on the phone.

Bullet Point Number Two: although I'm sorry the perfect basket doesn't exist, yay for standard mailboxes protecting your mail!!!

Bullet Point Number Four: I didn't know you struggled with anemicness! I can totally, TOTALLY relate to the "buy the bottle and look guiltily at it from time to time when I'm putting on moisturizer" syndrome, though. I can't tell you how many bottles of multivitamins have passed their expiration date UNOPENED because I just can't seem to get around to cracking the seal and popping one every day. Why is it so hard?

Do you ever do the old "cook your food in a cast iron skillet because the iron leaches into the food" trick? That's a help, and easy, too. Also, I dunno if you like licorice, but the Panda brand has a boatload of iron in it.

Good for you for your promise to treat your body right. From what I've discovered so far in my quest for health-n-fitness, it really gives one peace of mind to know that one is at least TRYING to cover all the bases. My irrational fears of dropping dead of (fill in the blank with a wide array of dire illnesses) have markedly decreased. Now, go take that multivitamin, and award yourself a sticker on your calendar for having done it. And maybe I should as well. *eyes 4-month-old unopened bottle guiltily*

I will call you forthwith for you to give them your talking-to! Man, someone needs to get through to them, and they just don't listen to ineffectual me.

And my MO wrt vitamins is that I open them and take them faithfully for about one week, and then nada. Every time I've moved in the past few years, I've tossed a nearly-full bottle of multivitamins way past its expiration date, to the point where it might not feel like moving unless I can perform this little ritual. But even though I haven't yet reached my usual one-week limit quite yet, I'm feeling good about this time around. Here's to emptying that bottle!

And I read about cooking food in cast-iron! (They gave me a little pamphlet about raising iron levels at the Red Cross offices.) Also that eating vitamin C helps your body to absorb iron! I did not know these fascinating things! And I didn't know about Panda licorice, but I do like it, and I'll have to see if I can find some. Thanks for the heads-up! :D

Bullet Points for Fun and Profit

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