constance | I sing of Harry Potter, dig?

Hey, guess what?

This past week, I have been seething with ambivalent impatience for Harry Potter--will explain the ambivalent part at some later date--and in a fit of impassioned silliness sent off an entry to a Guardian Online contest: write an account of the death of Albus Dumbledore in the style of another author.

And mine is up on their website! I mean, they probably publish everybody's. But I was most pleased, anyway, even if they did fuck up the formatting and verse structure.

i sing of Harry Potter, dig?
those ready wands laid down in war
(against pernicious Voldemort)

O wellbelov'd Harry (orphaned
hogwartsian most succinctly bred)
determined Albus took in hand;
but--though an host of stupefied
gryffindors (jinxing on the fly
them) do through besquidded waters float
those death-eaters which others stroke
with wood-wands recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred hufflepuffs evoke
allegiance per shouted unforgiveables--
Harry (being to all intents
a corpse and repulsing any guise
upon what the wizarding world unto him gave)
responds to Albus, unannoyed,
"I will not kiss your spangly robes"

straightway the phoenix Fawkes looked hassled
(departing hurriedly to Hogwarts castle)

but--though all kinds of wizard-warriors
(a yearning nation's spellcast pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their dragonhide
boots were much the worse,
and egged the cursebreakers on
Harry's wand-hand wickedly to tease
by means of angrily applied
skrewts blasting hot with heat--
Harry (upon what were once knees)
does fair defiantly repeat
"there is one curse I will not repeat"

our Dumbledore, being of which
aggressions sore unprophesied,
threw the greeneyedsonofawitch
into a dungeon, and then under you-know-who’s
exalted avada kedavra he died
instead

(in his mercy infinite)
i strain to see;Harry and Albus,too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie Dumbledore was
more brave than me:more old than you.