I have a college degree and everything!

[constance]

I may or may not be able to post this--we'll just be seeing about that--but I did want to take a brief moment to relate to you two things that I did today, written, for a change, from the POV of my Inner Voice.

1. Oh noooooooo I broke my car! It won't move even though I have my foot on the gas pedal! No matter how much I press! It just revs and revs! I will have to get a tow truck! I will have to call to see if I can borrow my parents' car! I can't afford major car repairs! But no amount of revving is helpi--oh. Okay, next time put the car into gear before you freak out, genius.



2. Shit, this egg isn't even close to boiled. I think I'll stick it into the microwave in five-second intervals, since I know that if eggs will explode if you put them in the microwave. Five-four-three.... But how do I know for sure that they really explode? Because I've heard it but I've never seen it, and it might just be an urban legend. Now I really want to know! I'll set for a minute... HAHAHAHAHAHAH IT REALLY DOES EXPLODE! AFTER ONLY FIFTEEN SECONDS! My God, microwave ovens rock so completely that I don't even care that I'm going to die of brain cancer by sitting here in front of it watching eggs explode.
   
   But will I really get brain cancer, or is that just an urban legend?

Comments

[leestone.livejournal.com]

ahahahahahahahaha

[submarine.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSS

[quartertosix.livejournal.com]

I love this entry very, very, very deeply. And goddamn, it is a good thing that I do not have any eggs right now, or I'd be getting brain cancer too. :D

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, egg salad. I just knew this post was actually going to be about the bento, deep down.

[jossish.livejournal.com]

*cracks up* Your inner voice sounds like my inner voice. I am glad I'm not alone.

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

The egg scenario is brilliant! I once read a book where two young girls were attempting to make Austrian torte. Unfortunately they didn't have enough eggs, but one remembered that during the wartime rationing you could substitute vinegar for an egg. So they made torte with one egg and lots of vinegar and it was a mess, as you'd expect. But it's the kind of thing I can see myself doing.

I thought it was KFC that gave us brain cancer

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Your inner voice needs to make many more posts. And have you tried marshmallows in the microwave? They're not quite as dramatic, but still fun (marshmallow peeps in particular, but for animal lovers like us it's better to choose a not-chick-or-bunny-shaped one) because they grow, and grow, and mutate, and then, wham!