insightful critiques while simulviewing

[constance]

leestone: How bad would it suck to be that dude who starts the war by accidentally shooting the first orc at Helm's Deep?

me: Dude, I would not have wanted to be within a hundred miles of Helms Deep.

me: BAD IDEA, THEODEN.

leestone: Really? :-/ Whenever anyone threatens me I always hide in the cupboard under my sink.

me: See, I myself prefer to send my son out to his certain death whilst I feast comfortably.

leestone: And dress me in chainmail and make me sing a stupid song? :-/

me: Well, you did offer me your fealty. If I want tragic Hobbit serenades as I slaver obscenely over my dinner, then that's what I'll get, by gum.

leestone: Dude. Two words: CHERRY TOMATO.

leestone: Try a wet-nap already! Y'all NASTY!

me: IKR? Denethor, my dogs are tidier eaters than that.

me: If he hadn't set himself on fire, Miss Manners would've.