Also the pecans are doing well.

Dear Universe,

This wildly fluctuating autumn weather you've been slathering all over my part of the world, freezing one night and sixty degrees the next and then freezing again the night after that, is doing no one any favors, buddy, and I'm no exception. For the last eighteen hours or so, I have had a headache that aspirin and sinus medication taken together by the handful are doing nothing to alleviate. It hurts to blink, and also to swallow. I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers and my eyes threaten to leak out of my face, and that is the only reason I know it's a sinus headache and not, you know, a fatal brain tumor, because that's what all this pressure feels like in my skull, it feels like something enormous and catastrophic and ineradicable, and at this point I am kind of tempted to stick a chopstick into my temple to seek some relief.

You like to show off sometimes, don't you, Universe? Flex your muscles, remind us who's the boss of us. Well, that's fine, I guess. But I think that at this point, I can safely inform you that you've made your point. I know I'm receiving the message as clearly as can be, so could you please, please show us a little goddamned mercy?

Yours sincerely and painfully,

Cammy

P.S. The leaves are pretty, though, I give you that.