So. Not. Funny.

Dear Universe,

Plz stop w/r/t the huge and unexpected expenses kthx. No really. And if you do have to hit me up like five times in one week, at the very least do not stick two of them into one letter like the one I received today from my mortgage company which says Hey, girl, your escrow account is several hundred dollars short and you owe us, and by the way, your mortgage payment is about to go up substantially.

It's just common courtesy, Universe. I wouldn't do you this way, you know.

Your friend,

Cammy