It makes me sad that I can no longer make polls.

[constance]

When you get an email which has been forwarded one thousand times and is all about something awful which is going to happen if you do not read and disseminate immediately (to wit: GANG MEMBERS ARE PLANNING TO KILL YOU PERSONALLY WHERE YOU STAND AS PART OF THEIR NEFARIOUS INITIATION PROCESS PLEASE WARN EVERYONE YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS) or else is all about something wonderful which will only happen if you read and disseminate immediately (to wit: BILL GATES WILL PAY YOU HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE), do you:

(a) Forward it immediately, as the instructions demand
(b) ignore it
(c) look it up on snopes.com (or some equivalent thereof), determine its truth or falsehood, and then ignore it
(d) look it up on snopes.com (or some equivalent thereof), determine its truth or falsehood, and then share the info by clicking Reply or Reply All

:::

I've been toying with a story in my head, this morning, one using Neko Case's awesomely gunslinging "Things That Scare Me" as a launching point, and this morning I looked up the lyrics and had to check ten sites before I could even begin to acknowledge that I might be hearing the last two lines wrong. Every lyric site I clicked on says that haunted by American dreams is the line, but I cannot believe this is really true! In my opinion, Miss Case sings hunted by American dreams quite clearly. In my opinion, this is not even a question! Plus, my version is better: not just for purposes of the story I'm telling, but in general. But I do not know for certain! And I must know for certain! Listen to it, why don't you, and tell me what you think.

Comments

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

1. ignore it and scowl in annoyance

2. clearly hunted unless she has some weird accent

[tofty.livejournal.com]

1. Hee! Yes, for all options except for (a), the scowl of annoyance will be, I believe, present.

2. THANK GOD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY.

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

I do "d" but since the only person to send me these sorts of emails is my mom, and since she is, apparently, only distrustful when it comes to "snopes.com (or some equivalent thereof)," I'm really just chasing my tail.

What is it they say? That madness is defined, in part, by doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get a different result? *g*

[emily-spinach.livejournal.com]

D, usually. If it's a money-related/positive scam, I'll just hit "reply." If it's a scary one that could create panic about shopping malls or walking outside or strollers or pigeons or whatever, I'll hit "reply all."

TOTALLY "hunted." No question.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

I either do (b) or (c)., usually with much sneering and scoffing. If it's my sweet little aunt, I'll go so far as to send her the snopes link, just because I'm ornery like that.

And hahahahahhaha- that is my favorite Neko Case song ever (I think it's been on a mix CD in my car since 2005) and I always thought she was saying "hounded". "Haunted" or "hunted" never even occurred to me. Then again, I am renowned for my mishearing of lyrics.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

E-mails like that are the reason I have an e-mail filter that takes anything any member of my family sends me and, if there's a FWD in the subject line, moves it directly into the trash.

[hypomnema.livejournal.com]

(d). I love it. I love being the nerdy disprover. LOVE IT.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Ooh, excellent filter idea! I feel like I'd live longer if I were exposed to fewer "Send this to 10 Wonderful Women" e-mails.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I CAN'T EVEN GIVE AN ANONYMOUS GIFT BECAUSE THAT MFA RYB.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

I used to be a big fan of D until I realized how little the senders cared. Now mostly C, because I like to know the background story.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I used to know someone like that! He'd send out mass forwardings of the most patently ridiculous stories and admonishments, but the second I would try to reason with him via snopes, he would scoff. He scoffed, Beth. At snopes.com. This kind of attitude defies explanation.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh, see, that's a good attitude! I used to mostly be D-ish, until, like coco, I realized that people would rather not know the uninteresting truth. Now I am almost always a C, because I still HAVE TO KNOW for my own peace of mind.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaa, man. Your translation's good too, though, somewhat akin to mine, I think.

I still think it is "hunted," though. I say the knowing that you may never forgive me. Possibly tonight is the beginning of a years-long feud over the proper translation of "Things That Scare Me" (which by the way is one of my all-time faves as well). But I will take that risk. I am adventurous that way.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that's perfect, and so creative! I almost put up an option (e) None of the Above, but I couldn't really think of any other options.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

:D:D:D I kind of love it too. I only stopped when I realized that my people mostly just think I'm being a killjoy when I do it.

I am totally with you re: the poll.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

OMG OMG OMG

YOU ARE SO AMAZING

I LOVE YOU SO GODDAMNED MUCH I CAN HARDLY STAND IT

MY PICTURES ARE BACK

I HAVE LOADS OF ICONS

I AM GOING TO CRY I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY

THAT IS NOT AN EXAGERATION

I CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER HOW TO SPELL I AM SO EXCITED

DID I SAY I LOVE YOU

BECAUSE I DO

Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I CAN'T EVEN GIVE AN ANONYMOUS GIFT BECAUSE THAT MFA RYB.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I AM STILL MAKING DOLPHIN NOISES AT YOU LIKE TEN MINUTES LATER

ALSO I STILL LOVE YOU

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

As my sister says every time I say something she disagrees with, "OMG WE ARE SO IN A FIGHT RIGHT NOW!"

Actually, though, I listened to it again and I think you're right about "hunted". Blast- that probably means Dire Straits isn't saying "Near misses on the dogmeat stairway" in "Down to the Waterline" and Jewel's not singing about a "daring burrito" in "Standing Still".

Re: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I CAN'T EVEN GIVE AN ANONYMOUS GIFT BECAUSE THAT MFA RYB.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

ALSO I JUST ATE A LADYBUG

ALSO I LOVE YOU

ALSO

[tofty.livejournal.com]

OMG WE ARE SO IN A FIGHT RIGHT NOW!

This made me laugh and laugh. I want to try to slip it in to conversation now, myself!

I would hold to my hearings of those songs if I were you. Sometimes the lyrics you hear are so much better than the ones that were written! (And these definitely are!)

Bah

[(Anonymous)]

Is Hermione Granger a killjoy? No, she is simply right about things others are wrong about. (And she is the Harry Potter character I am most like according to some Facebook quiz app.)

Re: Bah

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I actually am very fond of Hermione. Fonder than many. But I also think she's kind of a know-it-all, and goes about persuading Harry and Ron of her rightness in the most ineffective way possible.