Science vs. Romance: a brief dissertation

[constance]

Okay, before I start my entry proper, I want to just say that what I love most about the Georgia Department of Labor, and I love many things about it, is its brevity. Take the title of this form as an example: Employer's Information on Discharge for Failure to Obey Orders, Rules, or Instructions or Failure to Perform the Duties For Which Hired. So nice and tight! Something to aspire to.

:::

My coworker J (Leonard to my Sheldon) recently proposed a collaborative scientific experiment: a taste test of all apple varieties available to us at our neighborhood Kroger, verifying or refuting the hypothesis that Fujis are the best apples there are. Each afternoon, we cut up one Fuji apple and one other variety, then carefully eat each half, noting differences in taste and texture. Other factors figuring into our analysis are thickness of rind, intrusiveness of core, color of variety, and overall expense. We call our findings back and forth between offices, since we have, like, work which we are paid to do to do. (Man, what a sentence that was.)

And the results are in: Fujis are indeed The Best Apples There Are, and this in spite of the fact that Kroger never, ever puts them on sale. We are in full agreement on the deliciousness and value of Fujis, though we both own that there are adequate substitutes. I like Ambrosias, if we're going for expensive varieties, and J prefers Honeycrisps in that same category. In the Oh-Look-They're-On-Sale category, we're both kind of equally partial to Braeburns and Jonagolds, and I like Galas well enough, but J really doesn't.

This is how we've been spending our afternoons, and it's been very satisfying, and that's not even taking into account that we have proved to our equal satisfaction that Fuji apples are Totally Worth It, but a few nights ago I conducted a further secret experiment in the privacy of my own home, when I was putting away groceries and realized that it had been maybe thirty years since the last time I'd eaten my childhood favorite snack, an apple quartered with peanut butter spread over the quarters. (In a related aside, I've been inexplicably craving peanut butter lately.) And so I made one, just to see if they're as good as I remembered them.

And they are, my God. A little messy, but one bite and I was eight years old again, the taste memory was that overpoweringly beloved. And as much as I love apples, and possibly you've guessed by this point that I do in fact love them, they are even better with peanut butter. Exponentially better. I might even go so far as to say infinitely better, even if matters of the infinite are not mathematically provable. I'm not sure why I'm being struck by this now, decades later. Maybe it's my recent obsession with peanut butter; maybe it's the judicious application of The Best Apples There Are to peanut butter; maybe it's just my memories of childhood fucking around with me. Who knows? I'd feel that further experimentation is in order, but I'm not quite sure how to test for the intrusion of childhood memory. Maybe sometimes it's best to let science slide and go with your instincts. And then again, maybe we should forget I ever wrote that sentence.

So. Anyway. Guess what I'm having for lunch today?

Comments

[gmth.livejournal.com]

I'm coming to realize that my apple knowledge is shockingly limited. I don't know that I've ever even heard of a Fuji apple until now. I grew up eating Macintosh apples and my son likes Delicious, and those are the only two kinds I ever buy.

Glad somebody likes peanut butter!

[(Anonymous)]

What you're describing does sound "[a] little messy." Then again, anything with peanut butter is bound to be at least a little messy, right? But doesn't that just add to its attraction?

Of course some people would claim that, what with the recent peanut butter scare and all, it'd be better to avoid peanut butter until there's no doubt it's safe. Philistines! If you had a peanut allergy, that'd be one thing, but I imagine you would have found out in childhood if peanut butter didn't agree with you. I say: Hand me an apple!

[aubrem.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Tofty but Fujis are insipid, vapid things. Nothing on the planet is as good as a Granny Smith.

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

Cammy, are you having peanut butter and apples for lunch? (I suppose I should ask "did you", considering the current time.)

If so, I totally approve.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

We used to put Granny Smith slices in that caramel-y dipping sauce for summer treats. Mmmm. (Agreed that Fujis rock.)

I refute you.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

Honeycrisp. No contest. The apple so awesome that they are only available for sale here for about one week in the autumn otherwise we would all lie around munching on them all day long and the entire capitalist machine would collapse.

[proteinscollide.livejournal.com]

I am a Granny Smith girl myself, partly because I like my fruits with the sour tinge, and partly because I've grown up in Granny Smith country, and there's a giant festival celebrating them every year. :)

I have never ever tried an apple with peanut butter, and now I too shall have to put this idea to the test.

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

I tend to conside Fuji and Gala pretty interchangeable, though Gala can be a little on the mealy side at times. Pink Ladies are also pretty good in that categories. I've only had a very few Honeycrisps, but they were lovely. Those were actually from a Publix in Lawrenceville, GA. I never see them around here. I'm going to have to do a comparison tasting before the season ends.

Granny Smiths are good for cooking. They have a firm structure that can stand up to a lot. I like them OK for eating, but I prefer a sweeter apple if I have the choice. OTOH, Grannies are utterly dependable. To my mind, it's seldom the best apple, but it's never the worst. I'll always choose a reliable Granny over an iffy Delicious, for instance.

A friend taught me the trick of using multiple apple varieties when making pies. If you mix three or four kinds, you get a nice variation of flavor and texture in what can otherwise be a bit bland, pie-wise. The trick is getting the pieces similar in size.

Apples and peanut butter are delicious. As is celery with peanut butter. Aren't Georgia residents required to eat a certain amout of peanut butter each year to keep up the crop?

[lindyhoppr.livejournal.com]

Baloney. Pink ladies are better than Fujis any day.

QED.