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your high-powered, revved-up body machine
I am not so in tune with my body. Not one of those people who really pays attention to the old machinery and completely understands its patterns and schedules and reactions. Half the time, I don't even notice little warning signs before they become not little warning signs at all but giant DANGER DANGER THE END IS RIGHT HERE signs instead. I'm a bit more aware now that I'm watching what I eat and watching my body change over time as it gets thinner, but even now, I'm just not all that interested in the quotidian details of my own health, which is of course a luxury that only the extraordinarily healthy enjoy.
And which also is why I woke up this morning feeling draggy, ran errands and got gas and came home to take a short nap before heading out again to moonlight a computer setup, came home and took aspirin for a slow-growing headache and ate a bowl of chili that made me much snifflier than usual even though I didn't put more than the usual amount of hot sauce in. And with all this evidence at hand, it still wasn't until I was making tea trying to decide whether to lean over my steaming mug because on the one hand being anything but strictly upright made my brains leak out from behind my eyeballs, but on the other the steam eased the pressure on my skull a bit, anyway, it wasn't until then that it occurred to me that I might have picked up a cold from somewhere.
Oops. I'm thinking maybe I should start paying closer attention.
And which also is why I woke up this morning feeling draggy, ran errands and got gas and came home to take a short nap before heading out again to moonlight a computer setup, came home and took aspirin for a slow-growing headache and ate a bowl of chili that made me much snifflier than usual even though I didn't put more than the usual amount of hot sauce in. And with all this evidence at hand, it still wasn't until I was making tea trying to decide whether to lean over my steaming mug because on the one hand being anything but strictly upright made my brains leak out from behind my eyeballs, but on the other the steam eased the pressure on my skull a bit, anyway, it wasn't until then that it occurred to me that I might have picked up a cold from somewhere.
Oops. I'm thinking maybe I should start paying closer attention.
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In my old age, I have come to a new kind of body awareness jolt. Acknowledging that I have to consider the state of my back before agreeing to activities is still sort of mind-boggling. Just a day on my feet cooking, even in my most posture-perfect shoes, is enough to lay me out these days. Then I end up taking the drugs that make me snore and drive Leit out of bed so he sleeps poorly in the other room, and everybody ends up uncomfortable and cranky.
It's all very hard to admit.
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But I'd have said, from what you've told us about your history, that your back problems could be not so much age-related as jusr, you know, back-related. You've had problems in the past, and that needn't be your age doing you in at all!
I hope you're at least getting some backrubs out of this deal. I think you deserve them.
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I can relate to the "not in touch with one's body" state of being, though. I was just rereading Barbara Kingsolver's Prodigal Summer, in which all the women seem to have this amazing ability to know the exact moment they're ovulating, and I can't even put two and two together every month to realize/remember that, no, it's not the end of the world, I've just got PMS.
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Hahahaha, Yeah, I'm the same with my cycle as you are. I mean, I'm not especially regular, so I've never been able to track the way some women can with calendars and such, but even if I were the sort of person who would track, let's face it, I probably wouldn't. :D
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*feeds your cold*
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*eats anyway!*