am I really home?
Oct. 30th, 2007 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
constanceI stopped to get gas on the way home from work today, at one of those gas stations that has historically cheaper-than-the-station-next-door gas, and so you always have to wait to get to a pump; just after I pulled in for my turn, a friend pulled in behind me, and we chatted while my car filled up and then I went on my way and she pulled up for her turn, and it was just something that happens every now and then, you run into someone unexpectedly, catch up for a few minutes, and move on.
But it struck me today, driving home, that it's taken me this long in Macon -- four years now -- to not be surprised when it does happen. For so long, I've felt like a visitor here; I bought my house, sure, and settled into it, but outside of my house, I've only been peripherally involved, I've only touched down lightly, I've felt that at any moment I might be ready to move on. And then today, the realization that things have changed, that I'm feeling less and less as though I'm a tourist or a guest on sufferance. Less and less that there's nothing for me here. Less and less that I've disappeared off the map. More and more that I might run into someone I know at any time. More and more connected.
I said a long time ago that this is my rebound city, my safe city, and I still think that's true. But tonight I'm thinking that surprisingly, my rebound is working out much better than I ever could have expected a year or two ago. What a nice surprise.
But it struck me today, driving home, that it's taken me this long in Macon -- four years now -- to not be surprised when it does happen. For so long, I've felt like a visitor here; I bought my house, sure, and settled into it, but outside of my house, I've only been peripherally involved, I've only touched down lightly, I've felt that at any moment I might be ready to move on. And then today, the realization that things have changed, that I'm feeling less and less as though I'm a tourist or a guest on sufferance. Less and less that there's nothing for me here. Less and less that I've disappeared off the map. More and more that I might run into someone I know at any time. More and more connected.
I said a long time ago that this is my rebound city, my safe city, and I still think that's true. But tonight I'm thinking that surprisingly, my rebound is working out much better than I ever could have expected a year or two ago. What a nice surprise.
