In lieu of the expected Harry Potter post

[constance]

I wrote a letter to my grandmother (a retired librarian) last year. We'd been talking about books at dinner, books we loved as children, books that she chose especially for us, and she knew us so well that thirty-plus years later I still reread those books, still remember some word for word, still talk about them. They still define me in such a way that I still feel, at thirty-eight years and counting, that people can't understand me without knowing exactly how I felt about certain books, and I talk about them -- with grownups, and with a starry-eyed enthusiasm that I reserve for very few things in life. That was the conversation, anyway, and I wrote the letter just to let her know that everyone should have a person like that in her life, and that I was glad she was mine.

She hasn't read too much in the past few years. She's had crippling arthritis and her limbs were all twisted in knot and she couldn't walk or hold things, couldn't hear well, had gone blind, didn't want pain meds because the son who lived with her was a former addict. She's lived the past few years trapped in her own body, in a great deal of pain, unable to do any of the things she loved to do.

She finally decided to go on pain meds on Sunday night. By Monday morning she'd died, but for the first time in years her hands were straight and she wasn't in pain. I'm keeping that in mind this week. That and the fact that even though I wasn't able to say goodbye to her, I know that she knew that I loved her.

Comments

[thalia]

{{hugs}} I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure she loved getting your letter--it's great that you were able to do that. She sounds like a wonderful person.

[klynie1.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry. She sounds like she was an amazing grandmother and friend. Thank you for telling us and for sharing such a beautiful memory of her.

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. Oh, hon, I'm so sorry to hear about it. Peace. *hugs*

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon! I just love my own much-loved grandmother a few weeks ago and I totally sympathize. Because, yes...even though her passing was probably expected in your family (as my grandmother's was in mine), it's always going to be sad. Thankfully they both knew how much we loved them. {{hugs you}}

[amelia-eve.livejournal.com]

I should have known you had librarians in the family. It sounds like you had a really special relationship, and that she treasured it as much as you did. So sad to lose a loved one, but it sounds like she had a peaceful passing on her own terms. Hugs.

[infinitivesplit.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, I am so sorry. I am crying for you. I loved my own Grandma so much, and it's obvious you adored yours, and she you. I'm glad for both of you that you wrote that letter.

May she find many wonderful tales wherever she goes.

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
*hugs*

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry. This is quite a beautiful story though.

[jossish.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.

[friendly.livejournal.com]

♥

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so, so sorry, sweetheart. I'm thinking of you.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful, wonderful person, and I'll bet she treasured that letter from you. What a priceless tribute.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs and good thoughts aplenty to you from the whole family.

[proteinscollide.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Cammy. *hugs* I'm sure she treasured that letter from you very much.

[venivincere]

Oh, my. I'm so sorry. How fortunate you are to have had her in your life! That kind of light can only spread. *hugs*

[font.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to her last years weren't easier. I am so sorry for your loss.

[sangredulce.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. And I'm glad that you had each other. She sounds like an incredible woman.

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

I cried a little on Tuesday morning, selfishly missing you. I wish I could be there this week to give you one more hug.

[bowdlerized.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. That was a beautiful story.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

Sorry for my delayed response, and I hope you got my email. I am glad that she died free of pain, that her last hours in her body perhaps reminded her of the best hours as well. My love to you and to your dad and your mom and your brother. Her sons are among the finest men I have known.

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

My grandmother played a similar role emotionally in my life, and I'm so thankful I had her for as many years as I did (she died when I was 22). But nothing makes it easier letting go.

Great big hugs and loads of empathy.