Endgame

[constance]

On Friday, I arrived home after one of those workdays which makes one wonder why exactly it is that one is not paid according to the amount of sheer annoyance leveraged upon one because ONE WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE IN THAT CASE, and found my dog Flannery lying in a puddle of her own pee for the second time in two days, after a lag of several months. And more: since she hobbles all the time now, requires help to get up or to negotiate the stairs even on a good day, I didn't notice until after I'd cleaned her up a bit and she was trying to steady herself on her feet that one of her legs was horribly swollen and that she was doing her best not to walk on it at all.

I called the vet right away and made an appointment for the next morning, and then I spent the next hours trying to make her comfortable and worrying about what it could be. A broken leg? The vet said he thought not, but he hadn't seen her yet, and what if he was wrong, and it was broken somehow? She falls a lot. She pulls things down on top of herself.

Worse than that, she's sixteen now. Could I really put her through an ordeal like that knowing that her ability to get around would probably be permanently worsened? Could I really be so selfish as to keep her suffering just because I can't imagine my life without her? I decided, after tears and gingerly hugs and many sleepless hours, that I couldn't. That if it came down to a question of putting her in a cast, I would ask the vet to be realistic about her chances, and then let her go if I had to.

Well, her leg isn't broken, of course. She has an infection -- a little puncture wound she probably got in one of her falls -- aggravated, no doubt, by the chemical-laden no-bath wipes that I use to temporarily clean her up after one of these accidents. The vet drained her leg and gave me a big bottle of antibiotics, and I threw out the wipes and am giving her hot compresses and lots of pets and keeping Leory from pestering her, and every minute I am chest-tighteningly grateful for my reprieve, because honestly, as trying as life has become with her in the past couple of years, in her extreme old age, I love few human beings as much as I love my Flannery.

Comments

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

{{hugs you}}

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

Oh, puppy. Why do creatures so sweet and affectionate and loving age so quickly?

Serious hugs and empathy from friendsfriends.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Aw, pumpkin. Hugs to both you and Flannery (the less delicate one is for you.) Getting old is hell, and it's just not fair that these loves of our lives go from "really just a big puppy" to "frail senior citizen" in the blink of an eye. Hurrah for your reprieve, and here's hoping Flannery's leg is better in a trice.

[coco-palmolive.livejournal.com]

This is one of those posts where I skipped straight to the end after reading the first paragraph because I was worried, really worried. Phew. I'm glad it's going to be okay, and sorry you had such a scare there. Poor girls. It's kind of agonizing to live with an older pet, because every time they're even listless from the heat you worry, and then when something goes wrong, your mind goes straight to apocalyptic setting. You're doing a really loving and exceptional job of looking after Flan these days, helping her maintain her health and her dignity, I mean to say, and do not beat yourself up over using chemical wipes, because really, you are doing an excellent job. I don't think I'd look after my own mother so well.

You think of all the unwanted dogs and then you think of situations like Flannery found herself in, and it makes you feel good about the world, that there really are happy endings every now and then.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Aw. Hugs to you and Flannery. I think the fact that we can care so much about our animals says something good about us as human beings.

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor pup! But I know you're giving her lots of loving care.

*hugs you and Flannery*

[friendly.livejournal.com]

:( :( :( :(!

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad she's okay :) (Well, relatively speaking...)

*smooches*

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

I skipped straight to the end after reading the first paragraph because I was worried

I did the same thing!

[octoberstory.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I don't even know what to say, this was so hard to read (although I'm glad you shared it, you know?) All I could think was, Flannery's just such a good, good dog. She is the best dog. And I feel really grateful that I'm going to get to see her and give her a careful hug soon.

Same goes for you.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

*leans*

I'm happy to say that she is improving nicely, though.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I do not know. I think pets should be like the daemons in His Dark Materials, biologically integrated so that one lives exactly as long as the other.

And thanks! Good to see you!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the indelicate hugs! :D

This has happened gradually, step-by-step, but at the same time it's been so quick that, you're right, just a couple of years ago she was still jumping on and off the bed without any trouble -- something that she doesn't even dream of doing now.

Her leg is much better already, though! Looks kind of icky, but the swelling's down and she's using it properly again. Thank goodness we live in an age of maximum-strength antibiotics.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I know. Even just a few years ago, I wouldn't have panicked over something like this. (Though since she's much more prone to infection in the last couple of years, I'm not sure the problem would have come up before.) These days, though, the slightest thing is likely to send me scurrying to the vet wringing my hands and wailing the whole way.

I am taking this happy ending, though, and running with it. She deserves it, even if I don't, and I am happy beyond measure that we get to spend some more time together.

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes! Do you smoke the SGA crackpipe? Because there's this amazing story that fuses the universes, so that John and Rodney and everyone have daemons.

You're welcome! Good to be here! I looked back over your journal and realized that you've made several of the most memorable posts I've seen in my friendsfriends reading (notably the one about listening to the audiotape of GRRM at work). Mind if I make it not a friendsfriends thing?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Ha, I do know people who'd be kind of amazed at the amount of time and effort and love most people I know expend on their pets. That's okay, though -- I'm kind of amazed at them too. :)

It's so good to see you back around. Welcome back (again)!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the hugs! It took a couple of days to get her back on track, but Flan's doing much better now, thank goodness.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

:'(

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Haha, yes, she's now doing about as well as she does, these days. Back to the normal lift-and-clean-up-after toil -- but I'm grateful for that, mind.

*smooches back!*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I am so glad you're coming! :D:D:D:D All hell has broken loose this week, in terms of sudden minor household catastrophes, but even if we have to sit by candlelight on the floor monitoring the pets' health by the minute and taking sponge-baths in the kitchen, I will be happy to do that, because it will be you and Jim and HP and so many things I love dearly. Though I do hope it won't come to that.

I will tell Flan of the planned hugs. It'll give her something to look forward to!

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I do not, alas, partake of the SGA crack. Not for lack of other people's coaxing, though -- I'm not sure why, but I just never did watch it.

I might have to read that fic, though!

Hahahaha, the Martin-at-work disaster! I am listening to Georgette Heyer on audio right now, and there's nary a nipple. That is a good thing.

And so are new friends! I'm off to add you now. :D

[ainsley.livejournal.com]

It took a lot of coaxing and several false starts for me to fall for it (there were a couple of particularly good S3 eps I watched back-to-back, which is what did it), but I'm in it far more for the fic than the canon. There's so much that's amazingly good. I've been on the fringes of fandom for years, reading the occasional fic, but started reading it voraciously because of this show. Speaking of, here's (http://trinityofone.unrealwords.com/demon.html) the fusion one.

Nary a nipple plus Regency goodness! I loved the one Heyer I read and need to read more.

Awesome! I'm a big fan of fabulous people.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Did you get the email I sent to your gmail addy, by any chance?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

>:O No, I didn't! Stupid gmail -- would you mind forwarding it again and letting me know here so that I can make sure I have it?

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Basically I just asked if you were available to do beta-work for me...are you too busy right now?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I always love beta-ing for you, my love. Do you still need somebody?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

DUDE I JUST READ YOUR LATEST POST OMG OMG.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

That is an awesome achievement -- and I cannot wait to read it, as a beta or a regular old fan!

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU! I sorta jumped the gun on that one, din't I? I also already emailed you the fic, whether you wanted to beta or not.

ALSO I AM TOTALLY ON AIM RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT TO BE AS WELL (yahoo hates me)

[(Anonymous)]

Hahahaha! I wasn't at my desk when I wrote that last comment, and got back to it to find your email! I can't wait to start reading!!!

I can't do IM now, I'm sorry to say -- I'm at work. But connection permitting, I can be on later tonight. Will you be able to get on later?

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

I will! Say, nine-ish tonight? Or when would be good?

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Nine is perfect! It gives me time to get home from dinner and try to get my computer online. I'll see you then! *beams*

[tofty.livejournal.com]

I am on -- are you still using your old screen name? I am toftier.