Oh, pumpkin, this is so heartbreaking. I just read this to Dennis and we used it to discuss, "What would we do if this were next-door-Jan?" And it was wrenching and frightening and overwhelming even applied to that scenario, and she's someone who, after 11 years, is practically family to us.

Dennis claims there have to be resources out there, and maybe there are. Oh, I hope it's not naive to hope that there are services that are accessible and comprehensive, and that it wouldn't be upsetting to Miss B to accept this type of assistance. I know its touchy even with one's own relatives when it comes to arranging for help. My own grandparents pulled off the "We're fine, just fine!" ploy for a long time before my dad surprised them one day and found the house in shambles and discovered that they were living on Dinty Moore stew and Dreyer's ice cream. It must be so hard for people who've been independent for so many years to admit that they can't take care of themselves anymore. I think if this were me, I'd do some calling around and tell Miss B. what was out there, then follow xanthophyllipa's excellent advice for offering up whatever services I myself was willing and able to provide, and hope like anything that Miss B. doesn't refuse any outside help at all. Because at that point, I'd be calling my mommy (who'd feed me a nice "tough love" speech, no doubt.)

I'm so sorry you're in this position. I wish I could help.